Looking back.

I just spent that last few minutes reading most of my blog posts from 2007. I was hunting for a particular post (never found exactly what I was looking for) and was caught up in all of my arguments for the passage of pro-midwifery legislation. I can't help but grin. I'm really proud to be able to say that typos aside, I stand by what I wrote and think it may be time to pull some of those past posts to the forefront.

So, if you have a few minutes and want to walk a while in the past, or if you are new to my blog, check out 2007.

What follows is a great post from Nov of 2007. What I realize is that I am practicing what I preach. I am back in school, working to complete a goal that I set for myself years ago. I am not neglecting my children because I am taking care of myself. In reality, I become a better, stronger, and more well rounded mother because I am also an individual.

Follow Your Passion (Nov 2, 2007)
The weekend is here and we are busy as ever. Odin and Byron are camping with Cub Scouts tomorrow through Sunday, and I leave tomorrow for the LLL of Mo Conference. I am presenting a session on Following your Passion while Raising Your Family. Here's what I am am hoping the attendees will understand when they leave:

I want to be my children's Mom, but I don't want to JUST be their Mom. I want to be ME! That includes being the best Mom I can be, while modeling that I am important too! My passions are a worthwhile endeavor that make me a better person. In turn, following my passions makes me a better Mom!

I will do my best to prioritize my life to include taking time for my passions. I won't need to neglect my children as I will find a way to make sure their needs are met. I will utilize the support of others to meet this goal and I will do my best to support them in turn.

Money is changing hands

Cordelia got in trouble today. Big trouble. It seems as if she thinks it's OK to throw things and break things when she's mad. She got set in the corner, and proceeded to call me all the names she hears the older kids say. I then put her in her room and told her I would talk to her once she had picked up her room and put away her laundry. When I walked away, she was screaming like someone was killing her.

A little while later, I notice the quiet. A little while after that, I see her come up with Kalina. Cordelia tells me she did her jobs and apologized. During lunch, Acacia tells me the reason Cordelia quieted down and did her work was because KALINA PAID HER OFF! Kalina was sick of the screaming and gave Cordelia $1 to stop crying and pick up.

One dollar isn't much money, but it's the principle of the matter. I made Cordelia give back the money and told Kalina she could pay Cordelia to do extra work, but not the basic jobs that I make them do.

I do think Kalina needs to find a good paying job if this is the way she's going to get her kids to quiet down during a temper tantrum!

April Fools

I love April Fool's Day. Time for playing all the jokes you wanted to all year long, but didn't dare. We have the added benefit of our children loving this day as well. There have been years where pranks are planned months in advance.

This year was somewhat uneventful. We got a few people, but nothing significant. I had someone (to be left nameless to protect her identity) at Odin's office tell him the NCATE reviewers had a problem with his program, but he didn't fall for it. I got him later by telling him 2 of our kids were getting suspended for fighting at two different schools and he needed to go get them.

The best joke of all was on a homeschooling friend of mine and a teacher friend. I told them both that a one-liner was stuck into a bill and it had passed both the house and senate. This one line said that to homeschool in MO you had to have a teaching certificate. Both friends flipped and were upset. Quite an interesting reaction, huh? The reasons behind the reactions would be a whole other post.

FYI - here are our simple rules for pranks:
1. you can't hurt anyone or anything
2. you can only play a prank on someone who can take the joke
3. minimum amount of time between the joke and letting the person off the hook

Pretty simple, but so much fun!

Kalina switched all the cereals to different boxes, Cordelia put fake food in the kids' lunches, and somehow, I got Byron to hold a cup of water to the ceiling with the broom handle. Lots of little things, but we'll have to plan big for next year.

What do you do?

I have been asked many times what I do. I've answered jokingly that I am a breeder as I have had several children. I know that in today's world it is typical for both parents to work and the children go to day care. I understand that living on one income has us making financial choices about what is and is not important to us. I like the way we live and cannot imagine working full time and still being able to do the things during the day and night that my children need and want me to do. Our life choices have made it possible for us to have everything we need and most everything we truly want.

For example, I wanted a front load washing machine. It took me years to save for it, but we gave it to ourselves for our 10th anniversary a few years ago. When we hooked up the machine, the kids laid on the floor and watched the clothes go round and round. It was something special and we didn't take it for granted. I still think about how grateful I am that we have it every time I wash a load of clothes.

Lately, I have been asked if we have several children because Odin made me. I've also been asked if Odin makes me stay home. Is he ok with women working outside the home? Why don't I finish school and get a job? Unfortunately, those who read this probably don't have these same questions, but let me set a few things straight.

Odin and I chose to have a large family. We always joked about having 6 children. We just never thought we would actually have 6 until we did. I wouldn't trade a single one of them even on our worst days. Odin does not make me stay home. In fact, I think he would love for me to go back to work as soon as possible. The problem is that I do so much with the house and kids during the day. I just don't know who would pick up the slack! Who's job would be more important if there are sick kids, problems at school, etc? I don't want to finish school right now because of time and money. Why spend money on a degree that I am not planning on using anytime soon? Why not wait and see what types of jobs are available and interesting and train for those instead?

So, does Odin think women shouldn't work? NO. I really don't think he cares what your gender is as long as you get the job done. Until recently, he has always seemed to land jobs where he is one of the few male employees. When we lived in Rockford, he was the ONLY male employee.

That's what Odin thinks. Here's what I think. Men and women are different. If you can prove me wrong, please do so. Women have babies. Men can't. Women are designed biologically to provide not only comfort and care, but 100% of the nourishment a baby needs for at least the first 6 months of life. My job was and is to care for the children I brought into the world. I still have two at home all day with me. I still have older children who need me when they get off the bus. Who, but me, will give them the love, attention, and guidance that only I can give? Should I pay someone else to raise my children when I can do it better? I not only love my children, but I really like them, too. I want to be home with them. I want to volunteer in the community and at church while not do it by taking away the few hours I have with my kids after school.

I am a bit defensive, but I'm shocked that there are people who look down on the choice we made almost 14 years ago for me to raise the children while Odin works outside of the home. If you truly want to know what I do, keep my schedule for a few days. Follow me around if you think you can keep up. Take note of all I do. I'd keep track of it all myself, but I'm too busy with more important things like raising my children.

Kalina's Winterguard photos

Here are a couple of links to pictures of Kalina performing. She looks so pretty and grown up!

Kalina at Blue Springs Feb 14, 2009

Kalina at Smithville March 21, 2009 #1

Kalina at Smithville March 21, 2009 #2

Warrensburg JV at Smithville

Warrensburg JV at Blue Springs

She's in Springfield today for the Guard Championship today. I hope the weather holds and they get home safely!

It's no big deal

I don't know how to convince my children that they are accomplishing great things. Kalina made the JV Winterguard team this year, is on the honor roll, won an essay contest about what the US Flag means to her and was inducted to the National Jr. Honor Society. When we tell her how proud we are of her, she responds with a look that could knock over a scarecrow. "It's no big deal, everybody does it." Really?! Everybody does it, or are we just lucky that her circle of friends are high achievers as well? I like to think the later!

The kids have grown, but...

Here's the latest picture that I have on my computer of the family. Odin keeps them all on the desktop, and I just haven't had the time or motivation to put them on my computer. They've grown a bit since then, but it's really only been a few months!

Not quite two -

On Wednesday, Valen will be two years old. It seems to me that this child, the youngest of the six has come into his "twoness" quite early. The words and signs have been there for a while. He is able to get into the treehouse, able to get up on the trampoline, gets onto the counter to get into the upper cabinets and last but not least he knows how to get on the computer.

This last one is the reason I have been so quiet lately. Around December 20, Valen climbed up and opened my closed laptop and proceeded to rip 21 keys off the keyboard, and chew on a few before I realized what he was doing. To make it a little funnier - I WAS IN THE KITCHEN - 10 feet away, with no walls between us. Needless to say, he did this in record time. I have been without my laptop in the dining room since then. It came home fixed and with a big price tag on Friday.

Odin has up a group shot of the kids at Christmas, and as soon as I catch up and get the photos downloaded, I'll get more up!

RETRACTION

Any and all comments I have ever made in support of the pediatric dentist, Dr. Kurt A. Aarons whose office is located on Belleview in Kansas City, MO, are hereby retracted. I received a surprising letter from his office.

I would like to share part of this letter with you. I was shocked to read,"Due to differing treatment philosophies, we feel that you would be more comfortable in an office that shares your same views and beliefs. We have cancelled Cordelia's appointment on December 17, 2007." I received this letter after business hours on Thursday, December 13.

So, this is what I believe. I guess I'm not sure what beliefs Dr. Aarons' office holds if he feels I need to go somewhere else to find someone who shares my beliefs. I believe that all children should be treated with respect. I believe that patients, parents and the healthcare provider should work together to decide what course of treatment is in the best interest of the child. I believe that a parent is the final decision maker of what is best for the child. I believe that it is best to discuss differences of opinion with all parties and not act on one persons experience and that which is overheard by another. I believe that a parent can be the best asset a healthcare professional, including dentists, can have in a room to reassure the child that everything is OK.

I understand that there comes a time when children are ready and able to go into the back with the dental staff alone. I also understand that the dental office is probably good at dentistry. I have no expertise in this area, hence the reason my children see a dentist. What I want is a dentist's office that understands that I have expertise as well. My area of expertise is my children. I know what they are capable of more so than any dentist. I work with them prior to any and all visits to the doctor, dentist, and any other situation that is out of the norm so they understand what will happen. When I am caught in a situation where I am not able to prepare a child, I will be by that child every step of the way.

For those of you who don't know me very well, I have been through several dentist visits with several children. About age 5, all the kids were able to say they could do it themselves when asked. Cordelia is 3.

The letter makes it sound as if they are doing me a favor instead of firing us as patients. I would like it put on the record that I was not contacted by the dentist or anyone else in the office to discuss this decision. My understanding is that my conversation with the office manager was overheard by another staff member and the dentist discussed it with them only. I was told this morning that the office manager told the dentist both sides of the story. However, I have yet to comprehend how both sides of the story are presented when only one side is present.

Please feel free to forward this post in it's entirety if you feel it will help parents make choices and formulate questions for their dentist or other healthcare professional. We all need support from others that know this one simple truth. We are all experts in our own children.

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas...

so why is life so crazy? Shouldn't the "look" of Christmas follow the feel of Christmas? From programs to parties, it just seems like one thing after another. I am missing the days when I had no children in school and we baked every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas. We had quite the variety and quantity of treats. I would freeze them and we would have cookies until Easter.
Times change and so do traditions. We are now speeding through life at such a frenzied pace that the baking is going to be done right before Christmas. I am also trying to keep hold my "to do" list and know that it doesn't all have to be done. I don't have to keep the house really clean, I do have to keep it clean enough so we don't get sick. The house doesn't have to be decorated perfectly, but the decorations need to have meaning.
I have found new meaning in my Christmas tree star this year. Our star is on it's last leg, but I think I am going to take some time this next year to try and fix it instead of getting a new one. This star is one of the first Christmas tree decorations Odin and I bought at a sale after our first Christmas together. This year, it is looking sad and crooked. No matter how many times we get up there and straighten it, it looks like it is going to fall off the tree any moment. I have given up on the idea of having a perfect star on my tree. Come to think of it, this star is representative of how I should live my life. I am far from perfect, and many times I am looking sad, frazzled, and in all honesty, probably a little crooked as well. I do my job and I do it well, just as that star is up there reminding us of Jesus' birth. After all, what is in our hearts, and how we express that in our daily life through words and actions, not what we look like doing it that is important.
Reading over this, I realize that the words sound a little awkward, but that's ok! Maybe I won't fix the star this year. Maybe the new tradition will be a crooked star.

"Little kids are so gullible"

The older kids have figured out that Valen will believe everything they say. When they want him to leave them alone, they will use almost any story to get him to run to the other side of the house. For quite some time they have used, "Go see if Daddy's home," and "Want a bath?" Those have been quite easy to figure out as Daddy and bath are two distinguishable words in his ever increasing vocabulary.

The latest and greatest way they are getting Valen to leave them alone is to tell this sweet little almost two year old boy that I have candy for him. The poor child is constantly coming up to me saying, "canny? mooore?" When I tell him he can't have any, he'll stop his foot and say, "neet now, momma!" Like I'm going to give into that one.

Why baby-proofing your house is not enough!

I have locks on certain cabinets, the medicines are out of reach, small things are kept out of little hands and mouths. You would think this would be enough.

THINK AGAIN - I have two words for all of you: CHRISTMAS SNOOP

I was the queen of snooping at Christmastime. My kids are getting there earlier than I was and they are blaming the little ones. "I didn't open the door, Valen and Cordelia did it." When I ask who told them to do so, and who helped, I get the truth. "I did." Hey, at least they're honest!

So now is the season for snoop-proofing on top of the baby proofing!

She did it!!!!!

We have been trying for so long, but Cordelia finally did it last night! AND, to sweeten the deal, she did it HAPPILY!!!!!

So, what did she do, you ask? Well, my darling little girl got into bed, let us kiss her goodnight and turn out the lights, and she went to sleep and stayed in her bed until this morning!!!!!!

OK, to be honest, she got up once because she said it felt like there was sand in her bed. To be perfectly honest, there was sand in the bed, and after we took care of the problem, she went back to bed.

Hopefully, this is the start of easier evenings for all of us!!

Mt. Washmore

I told Byron to come back to my room last night because I had something for him. I pushed a full basket of clean laundry his way and told him it was his very own Mt. Washmore. I don't know why, but he got very giddy and started talking about his mountain and how he had to conquer it. I have never seen him fold and put away laundry so quickly. Maybe I should have had him do the towels too!

Cordelia's idea

Cordelia did fine while were away, but now that we are home, she wants Valen to step aside.

According to my 3 1/2 year old, "You had enough baby boy time when you went on your trip. I want Cordelia time." She just doesn't understand that he needs to nurse every day whether we are at home or out of town!

Colorado!?

Now that he's clued me in a little more on the job hunt, Odin has let me know that he applied for a job in Colorado. Not just any job at any university, but UCCS. This is incredibly funny to me. I asked Odin if he knew that the UCCS library was where I did the bulk of my research for the debate team in high school. The building has changed quite a bit in the past several years, and it looks like the somewhat close parking I enjoyed is no more!

So, it makes me ponder the thought of moving back to where I grew up. What would it be like to live within walking distance of my parents. Tonight, as the kids are begging to stay up "just a few more minutes," made me dream of having help nearby when Odin is out of town. Better yet, as we start to enter the teen years, wouldn't it be nice to say the following to a cranky child, "Take a walk and tell Grandma and Grandpa all about how mean your mom is."

The downside would be that Grandma and Grandpa may actually sympathize with their grandkids over things I would never have gotten away with!

On my own

Odin has gone to Virginia and left me alone, outnumbered, and with a messy house. The odds are against me, but what the kids don't seem to understand is that though they think they are coming up with new tricks, I have seen and done it all. In fact, I did it better! No sneaking around watching late night TV on my watch!

Surgery cancelled

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or feel relief. Surgery was canceled today. The head of anesthesiology did not feel that we would get the best care as "everyone" was apprehensive about our case. He suggested we stay away for at least 3 months. I'm not sure what will happen next, but a new town is looking better and better right now.

He said that policies need to be clear. My thoughts are that if his policy had been clear, and that if he and his colleagues had answered my questions and not backed away from them, that we would never have gotten to this point. Odin leaves on Wed for his NCATE trip. Surgery cancelled may not be such a bad thing.