Looking back.

I just spent that last few minutes reading most of my blog posts from 2007. I was hunting for a particular post (never found exactly what I was looking for) and was caught up in all of my arguments for the passage of pro-midwifery legislation. I can't help but grin. I'm really proud to be able to say that typos aside, I stand by what I wrote and think it may be time to pull some of those past posts to the forefront.

So, if you have a few minutes and want to walk a while in the past, or if you are new to my blog, check out 2007.

What follows is a great post from Nov of 2007. What I realize is that I am practicing what I preach. I am back in school, working to complete a goal that I set for myself years ago. I am not neglecting my children because I am taking care of myself. In reality, I become a better, stronger, and more well rounded mother because I am also an individual.

Follow Your Passion (Nov 2, 2007)
The weekend is here and we are busy as ever. Odin and Byron are camping with Cub Scouts tomorrow through Sunday, and I leave tomorrow for the LLL of Mo Conference. I am presenting a session on Following your Passion while Raising Your Family. Here's what I am am hoping the attendees will understand when they leave:

I want to be my children's Mom, but I don't want to JUST be their Mom. I want to be ME! That includes being the best Mom I can be, while modeling that I am important too! My passions are a worthwhile endeavor that make me a better person. In turn, following my passions makes me a better Mom!

I will do my best to prioritize my life to include taking time for my passions. I won't need to neglect my children as I will find a way to make sure their needs are met. I will utilize the support of others to meet this goal and I will do my best to support them in turn.

It's my turn

Many of you know that I have not finished my degree. I started right out of high school, but then got married and the babies kept coming. I tried going back about 6 years ago, but new babies and older children and the house and Odin's job and all my volunteer work... It just didn't work out.

I am getting ready to try again. This time around, I'll be planning on needing time away from the kids for class and study. For the first time ever, I will be paying a full time sitter to watch Valen during the school year. I'm very happy with the choice we made in sitters and he can't wait!

I'll be going for a teaching degree in Family and Consumer Science (FACS). For those of you who don't know what this is, think home ec. I get to start on May 11 with a sewing class. I'm very excited because it is 4 days a week, four hours a day, for three weeks. Can you just see how happy I'll be getting to sew without little people interupting every five minutes?!

I'm still waiting for my official acceptance to UCM and to see how many hours they will transfer. I'm hoping that most of my gen eds will transfer and that I don't have to retake much.

Homework time at our house will probably look a little different for the next few years. Instead of me making supper while I help with homework, I'll be sitting at the table with them doing mine while they do theirs!

What do you do?

I have been asked many times what I do. I've answered jokingly that I am a breeder as I have had several children. I know that in today's world it is typical for both parents to work and the children go to day care. I understand that living on one income has us making financial choices about what is and is not important to us. I like the way we live and cannot imagine working full time and still being able to do the things during the day and night that my children need and want me to do. Our life choices have made it possible for us to have everything we need and most everything we truly want.

For example, I wanted a front load washing machine. It took me years to save for it, but we gave it to ourselves for our 10th anniversary a few years ago. When we hooked up the machine, the kids laid on the floor and watched the clothes go round and round. It was something special and we didn't take it for granted. I still think about how grateful I am that we have it every time I wash a load of clothes.

Lately, I have been asked if we have several children because Odin made me. I've also been asked if Odin makes me stay home. Is he ok with women working outside the home? Why don't I finish school and get a job? Unfortunately, those who read this probably don't have these same questions, but let me set a few things straight.

Odin and I chose to have a large family. We always joked about having 6 children. We just never thought we would actually have 6 until we did. I wouldn't trade a single one of them even on our worst days. Odin does not make me stay home. In fact, I think he would love for me to go back to work as soon as possible. The problem is that I do so much with the house and kids during the day. I just don't know who would pick up the slack! Who's job would be more important if there are sick kids, problems at school, etc? I don't want to finish school right now because of time and money. Why spend money on a degree that I am not planning on using anytime soon? Why not wait and see what types of jobs are available and interesting and train for those instead?

So, does Odin think women shouldn't work? NO. I really don't think he cares what your gender is as long as you get the job done. Until recently, he has always seemed to land jobs where he is one of the few male employees. When we lived in Rockford, he was the ONLY male employee.

That's what Odin thinks. Here's what I think. Men and women are different. If you can prove me wrong, please do so. Women have babies. Men can't. Women are designed biologically to provide not only comfort and care, but 100% of the nourishment a baby needs for at least the first 6 months of life. My job was and is to care for the children I brought into the world. I still have two at home all day with me. I still have older children who need me when they get off the bus. Who, but me, will give them the love, attention, and guidance that only I can give? Should I pay someone else to raise my children when I can do it better? I not only love my children, but I really like them, too. I want to be home with them. I want to volunteer in the community and at church while not do it by taking away the few hours I have with my kids after school.

I am a bit defensive, but I'm shocked that there are people who look down on the choice we made almost 14 years ago for me to raise the children while Odin works outside of the home. If you truly want to know what I do, keep my schedule for a few days. Follow me around if you think you can keep up. Take note of all I do. I'd keep track of it all myself, but I'm too busy with more important things like raising my children.

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas...

so why is life so crazy? Shouldn't the "look" of Christmas follow the feel of Christmas? From programs to parties, it just seems like one thing after another. I am missing the days when I had no children in school and we baked every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas. We had quite the variety and quantity of treats. I would freeze them and we would have cookies until Easter.
Times change and so do traditions. We are now speeding through life at such a frenzied pace that the baking is going to be done right before Christmas. I am also trying to keep hold my "to do" list and know that it doesn't all have to be done. I don't have to keep the house really clean, I do have to keep it clean enough so we don't get sick. The house doesn't have to be decorated perfectly, but the decorations need to have meaning.
I have found new meaning in my Christmas tree star this year. Our star is on it's last leg, but I think I am going to take some time this next year to try and fix it instead of getting a new one. This star is one of the first Christmas tree decorations Odin and I bought at a sale after our first Christmas together. This year, it is looking sad and crooked. No matter how many times we get up there and straighten it, it looks like it is going to fall off the tree any moment. I have given up on the idea of having a perfect star on my tree. Come to think of it, this star is representative of how I should live my life. I am far from perfect, and many times I am looking sad, frazzled, and in all honesty, probably a little crooked as well. I do my job and I do it well, just as that star is up there reminding us of Jesus' birth. After all, what is in our hearts, and how we express that in our daily life through words and actions, not what we look like doing it that is important.
Reading over this, I realize that the words sound a little awkward, but that's ok! Maybe I won't fix the star this year. Maybe the new tradition will be a crooked star.