Deanna's Thoughts

Student Teaching

2011-01-13T21:18:00.003-06:00

I have officially started my final semester in my pursuit of a college degree. I have been close to this point in the past, but never made it quite this far. If all goes as planned, I will graduate on May 6.

I am tickled that I was able to surpass my own expectations of my capabilities during the past two years. I have maintained a 4.0 GPA while taking an insanely heavy course load. I have also managed to work part time and keep up (but not as well as I would have liked) with the laundry and the house. Without the help of Odin and the kids, this all would have been impossible.

On top of it all, I created my own website (www.mrsjurkowski.com) for my student teaching semester that I hope to continue once I start teaching. For years, Odin has managed the technology in our home because it was just his thing. I was very proud to be able to say that not only did I do this site on my own, but taught Odin a thing or two about it. To be fair, I was only able to show him because he was not familiar with the google sites editor.

This semester will certainly be one of growth and learning. While I am looking forward to it, I honestly am counting the days for my seventeen year quest for my degree to come to an end!

Now what?

2010-11-04T11:00:00.004-06:00

The election is over, so now what? Since last December, I have spent time campaigning for my friend Courtney Cole. I did this because I was not happy with the way my Representative was conducting himself and voting on certain issues. This was my right, as well as my responsibility as a citizen of Missouri.

During this time I tried to set a good example for my children and for those who saw me in action. I tried very hard to keep my very heated (and sometimes bordering on inappropriate) comments in private, and I was careful to look up information so I was talking about the issues and facts. I did this for several reasons, but the most important one was that I wanted to walk away from the election cycle with my head held high. Looking back, I have no regrets about my behavior and I am proud of that.

At this point in time, we need to move forward. The newly elected officials work for and represent ALL their constituents. I plan to continue to do what I have done for years by sending them letters and emails about my opinion on the issues, by visiting their offices in Jefferson City, and by encouraging children, youth, and young adults to get involved by doing the same.

As I am not a party player, who knows who I will support in the next election. To be fair, I will have to watch and see what the current elected officials do and how they behave. For now, I get to take a step back and take my role as a constituent very seriously.

All in all, this election cycle was amazing for my family. My children are even more aware of the process of political campaigns, the issues at hand, and (most importantly) their voice. They have learned that their opinion matters and that it is their responsibility to stand up for what they believe. They have seen their parents make financial decisions to back certain candidates at the expense of them not getting a fun treat. The conversations we have had with them about this election cycle will be memories I cherish for years to come. They have also learned how to compose themselves when their candidate does not win. This is just as important of a lesson as all the others.

The lessons don't stop today because the election is over. They will continue to see us try to affect change by working within the system. They will see us tighten our families budget in preparation for the bigger budget cuts coming to education. They will see that we do not call names and throw a fit when we don't get what we want. Most of all, they will see that I do my best to model every single one of these lessons I am trying to teach.

It's a proud day...

2010-11-01T16:13:00.004-06:00

Today was one of those "firsts" that make you cry proud tears as a mother. Today, my 14 year old daughter decided that she is fed up with those who do not take time to learn about the issues before they spout off about candidates (granted, those people are high-schoolers, but the sentiment is the same). Today, my 14 year old daughter said "Yes" to helping get out the vote by making phone calls to people in the 4th congressional district. There was no enticing and no begging. I merely let her know that she could help if she wanted, and before she knew exactly what was involved, she said yes.

One of my goals is to raise my children to be involved and willing to work to make our world a better place. I want them to be aware and to know that their opinion matters. I want them to work for change within the system and to persevere even when the road to victory is hard and tedious. I want them to state the problem along with a potential solution.

Teaching all of my children this lesson over and over again is time consuming and not always fun. However, I am now seeing the fruit of all this hard work. My children are aware and involved. They are an active part of the solution.

She said yes, and I tried to hide my proud mamma tears.

Don't make her efforts go to waste. Take time November 2 to VOTE. Remember that it is not only your right but your RESPONSIBILITY.

2010-10-28T20:51:00.002-05:00

What follows is a letter I sent to Representative Hoskins in response to the robocalls that were received by the constituents of the 121st Missouri House of Representatives District . If you haven't heard about them, you can go to the Show Me Progress blog to read and listen. As this is so low and underhanded for a local race, the story was also picked up by the Huffington Post for the nation to see. I have no problem with truth in advertising, but the truth is not evident in this message, not even a grain of it. At least sources for claims are listed on the print attack pieces so we see how the truth is being bent.

I wonder how many children now have the word "pornography" in their vocabulary thanks to Denny Hoskins attempt at reelection in the 121st district. I really hope that voters see this latest attack on Courtney Cole as desperate, underhanded, and an incredible reason to vote new leadership into the Missouri House of Representatives with Courtney Cole.

Dear Representative Hoskins,
Yesterday, phone calls, paid for by HRCC, went out all over town. I am writing to thank you and your supporters for the opportunity to explain pornography, gay pornography, and the attack on Mrs. Cole to my 10 year old daughter.

This is not what politics is about. I supported your campaign during the last race and worked hard on Senator Pearce's campaign. I support candidates and not parties. The fact that you allow the HRCC to send out and keep sending out the negative pieces on your behalf is enough to make me change my mind about voting Republican when I don't know the individuals in the race.

My kids have said that this is being talked about at school. Please let me know why you think it is appropriate to align yourself with people who call with distasteful and disgusting content for children to hear. Your family values are definitely not the same as mine, and it would seem that anyone the HRCC supports is not who I want representing me, my family, or my friends in Jefferson City or anywhere else.

-Deanna Jurkowski

Glogster

2010-10-27T23:14:00.001-05:00

PLEASE VOTE

2010-10-26T13:17:00.002-05:00

This was sent to me as a forwarded email. I have no idea who wrote it or where it came from originally or I would gladly give credit. No matter how you vote, please exercise this privilege on Nov. 2.

This is is the story of our Grandmothers and Great-Grandmothers who lived only 90 years ago.

Remember, it was not until 1920 that women were granted the right to go to the polls and vote.

The women were innocent and defenseless, but they were jailed nonetheless for picketing the White House, carrying signs asking for the vote.

And by the end of the night, they were barely alive.
Forty prison guards wielding clubs and their warden's blessing
went on a rampage against the 33 women wrongly convicted of 'obstructing sidewalk traffic.'

(Lucy Burns)
They beat Lucy Burns, chained her hands to the cell bars above her head and left her hanging for the night, bleeding and gasping for air.

(Dora Lewis)
They hurled Dora Lewis into a dark cell, smashed her
head against an iron bed and knocked her out cold. Her cellmate, Alice Cosu, thought Lewis was dead and suffered a heart attack. Additional affidavits describe the guards grabbing, dragging, beating, choking, slamming, pinching, twisting and kicking the women.

Thus unfolded the 'Night of Terror' on Nov. 15, 1917, when the warden at the Occoquan Workhouse in Virginia ordered his guards to teach a lesson to the suffragists imprisoned there because they dared to picket Woodrow Wilson's White House for the right to vote.For weeks, the women's only water came from an open pail. Their food--all of it colorless slop--was infested with worms.

(Alice Paul)
When one of the leaders, Alice Paul, embarked on a hunger strike, they tied her to a chair, forced a tube down her throat and poured liquid into her until she vomited. She was tortured like this for weeks until word was smuggled out to the press.

So, refresh my memory. Some women won't vote this year because -why, exactly? We have carpool duties? We have to get to work? Our vote doesn't matter? It's raining?

(Mrs. Pauline Adams in the prison garb she wore while serving a sixty-day sentence.)

Last week, I went to a sparsely attended screening of HBO's new movie 'Iron Jawed Angels.' It is a graphic depiction of the battle these women waged so that I could pull the curtain at the polling booth and have my say. I am ashamed to say I needed the reminder.

(Miss Edith Ainge, of Jamestown , New York )
All these years later, voter registration is still my passion. But theactual act of voting had become less personal for me, more rote. Frankly, voting often felt more like an obligation than a privilege. Sometimes it was inconvenient.

(Berthe Arnold, CSU graduate)
My friend Wendy, who is my age and studied women's history,
saw the HBO movie, too. When she stopped by my desk to talk
about it, she looked angry. She was--with herself. 'One thought kept coming back to me as I watched that movie,' she said. 'What would those women think of the way I use, or don't use, my right to vote? All of us take it for granted now, not just younger women, but those of us who did seek to learn.' The right to vote, she said, had become valuable to her 'all over again.'

HBO released the movie on video and DVD . I wish all history,
social studies and government teachers would include the movie in their curriculum I want it shown on Bunco night, too, and anywhere else women gather. I realize this isn't our usual idea of socializing, but we are not voting in the numbers that we should be, and I think a little shock therapy is in order.

(Conferring over ratification [of the 19th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution] at [National Woman's Party] headquarters, Jackson Pl [ace] [ Washington , D.C. ]. L-R Mrs. Lawrence Lewis, Mrs. Abby Scott Baker, Anita Pollitzer, Alice Paul, Florence Boeckel, Mabel Vernon (standing, right))
It is jarring to watch Woodrow Wilson and his cronies try to persuade a psychiatrist to declare Alice Paul insane so that she could be permanently institutionalized. And it is inspiring to watch the doctor refuse. Alice Paul was strong, he said, and brave. That didn't make her crazy.

The doctor admonished the men: 'Courage in women is often mistaken for insanity.'

Please, if you are so inclined, pass this on to all the women you know. We need to get out and vote and use this right that was fought so hard for by these very courageous women. Whether you vote democratic, republican or independent party - remember to vote.

(Helena Hill Weed, Norwalk , Conn. Serving 3 day sentence in D.C. prison for carrying banner, 'Governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed.')
History is being made.

Looking back.

2009-07-10T12:32:00.005-05:00

I just spent that last few minutes reading most of my blog posts from 2007. I was hunting for a particular post (never found exactly what I was looking for) and was caught up in all of my arguments for the passage of pro-midwifery legislation. I can't help but grin. I'm really proud to be able to say that typos aside, I stand by what I wrote and think it may be time to pull some of those past posts to the forefront.

So, if you have a few minutes and want to walk a while in the past, or if you are new to my blog, check out 2007.

What follows is a great post from Nov of 2007. What I realize is that I am practicing what I preach. I am back in school, working to complete a goal that I set for myself years ago. I am not neglecting my children because I am taking care of myself. In reality, I become a better, stronger, and more well rounded mother because I am also an individual.

Follow Your Passion (Nov 2, 2007)
The weekend is here and we are busy as ever. Odin and Byron are camping with Cub Scouts tomorrow through Sunday, and I leave tomorrow for the LLL of Mo Conference. I am presenting a session on Following your Passion while Raising Your Family. Here's what I am am hoping the attendees will understand when they leave:

I want to be my children's Mom, but I don't want to JUST be their Mom. I want to be ME! That includes being the best Mom I can be, while modeling that I am important too! My passions are a worthwhile endeavor that make me a better person. In turn, following my passions makes me a better Mom!

I will do my best to prioritize my life to include taking time for my passions. I won't need to neglect my children as I will find a way to make sure their needs are met. I will utilize the support of others to meet this goal and I will do my best to support them in turn.

Money is changing hands

2009-07-08T12:00:00.006-05:00

Cordelia got in trouble today. Big trouble. It seems as if she thinks it's OK to throw things and break things when she's mad. She got set in the corner, and proceeded to call me all the names she hears the older kids say. I then put her in her room and told her I would talk to her once she had picked up her room and put away her laundry. When I walked away, she was screaming like someone was killing her.

A little while later, I notice the quiet. A little while after that, I see her come up with Kalina. Cordelia tells me she did her jobs and apologized. During lunch, Acacia tells me the reason Cordelia quieted down and did her work was because KALINA PAID HER OFF! Kalina was sick of the screaming and gave Cordelia $1 to stop crying and pick up.

One dollar isn't much money, but it's the principle of the matter. I made Cordelia give back the money and told Kalina she could pay Cordelia to do extra work, but not the basic jobs that I make them do.

I do think Kalina needs to find a good paying job if this is the way she's going to get her kids to quiet down during a temper tantrum!

Done!

2009-07-08T11:55:00.002-05:00

I did it! I finished my first semester back at school. Three classes down and what seems like a gillion to go. I think I got straight As, but won't be sure until the grades are posted for the final class.

Deb's Tapenade Recipe from Allrecipes.com

2009-07-01T19:29:00.002-05:00

Check out this recipe I found on Allrecipes.com!

So yummy! I've been wanting to try tapenade for a while. The kids have been talking about it because of iCarly. Three out of five kids liked it, with Kalina not being able to stop eating it! I didn't have Balsamic vinegar, so I substituted lemon juice.

Posted using ShareThis

It's my turn

2009-04-30T13:25:00.002-05:00

Many of you know that I have not finished my degree. I started right out of high school, but then got married and the babies kept coming. I tried going back about 6 years ago, but new babies and older children and the house and Odin's job and all my volunteer work... It just didn't work out.

I am getting ready to try again. This time around, I'll be planning on needing time away from the kids for class and study. For the first time ever, I will be paying a full time sitter to watch Valen during the school year. I'm very happy with the choice we made in sitters and he can't wait!

I'll be going for a teaching degree in Family and Consumer Science (FACS). For those of you who don't know what this is, think home ec. I get to start on May 11 with a sewing class. I'm very excited because it is 4 days a week, four hours a day, for three weeks. Can you just see how happy I'll be getting to sew without little people interupting every five minutes?!

I'm still waiting for my official acceptance to UCM and to see how many hours they will transfer. I'm hoping that most of my gen eds will transfer and that I don't have to retake much.

Homework time at our house will probably look a little different for the next few years. Instead of me making supper while I help with homework, I'll be sitting at the table with them doing mine while they do theirs!

Just talk, I'm right here!

2009-04-08T20:19:00.004-05:00

There is a new phenomenon in my home. My loving husband has a new appendage. It goes with him everywhere and takes several forms. I've seen him with it during the day, but now it is ALWAYS there. What could it possibly be? One of the children? Facial hair? Return of the Jedi shoes? Not even close - it is his laptop/blackberry/phone.

He found this application called Meebo. He is now always logged in to all his IM sites and they go to one place. He has it linked up to his UCM webpage and I think he's always on it. Between this and Facebook, I'm a distant third when it comes to evening conversation once the kids go to bed! I know this will slow down and his students need him too, but I think I'm figuring out an alternative.

This week, I am having trouble with speaking and have been using IM and email more than usual. I've taken advantage of him having an electronic appendage since I couldn't have a good phone conversation while he was at work. However, later one evening, he happened to be sitting on the couch working with his laptop and I had mine and was chatting with friends on Facebook and IM. Just for fun, I wrote to him. I wrote again. He's grinning and also a little annoyed. So, of course, I do it again and again and again. I was having a good time.

Keep in mind we are RIGHT NEXT TO EACH OTHER! My excuse is that I can't speak well and am just picking at him. He can talk just fine. I about fell over when he writes back that he is going to go to bed soon. HE'S RIGHT THERE! Why couldn't he just say it? I truly believe he didn't even realize the humor until I fell off the couch laughing!

April Fools

2009-04-07T15:04:00.004-05:00

I love April Fool's Day. Time for playing all the jokes you wanted to all year long, but didn't dare. We have the added benefit of our children loving this day as well. There have been years where pranks are planned months in advance.

This year was somewhat uneventful. We got a few people, but nothing significant. I had someone (to be left nameless to protect her identity) at Odin's office tell him the NCATE reviewers had a problem with his program, but he didn't fall for it. I got him later by telling him 2 of our kids were getting suspended for fighting at two different schools and he needed to go get them.

The best joke of all was on a homeschooling friend of mine and a teacher friend. I told them both that a one-liner was stuck into a bill and it had passed both the house and senate. This one line said that to homeschool in MO you had to have a teaching certificate. Both friends flipped and were upset. Quite an interesting reaction, huh? The reasons behind the reactions would be a whole other post.

FYI - here are our simple rules for pranks:
1. you can't hurt anyone or anything
2. you can only play a prank on someone who can take the joke
3. minimum amount of time between the joke and letting the person off the hook

Pretty simple, but so much fun!

Kalina switched all the cereals to different boxes, Cordelia put fake food in the kids' lunches, and somehow, I got Byron to hold a cup of water to the ceiling with the broom handle. Lots of little things, but we'll have to plan big for next year.

What do you do?

2009-04-02T15:52:00.006-06:00

I have been asked many times what I do. I've answered jokingly that I am a breeder as I have had several children. I know that in today's world it is typical for both parents to work and the children go to day care. I understand that living on one income has us making financial choices about what is and is not important to us. I like the way we live and cannot imagine working full time and still being able to do the things during the day and night that my children need and want me to do. Our life choices have made it possible for us to have everything we need and most everything we truly want.

For example, I wanted a front load washing machine. It took me years to save for it, but we gave it to ourselves for our 10th anniversary a few years ago. When we hooked up the machine, the kids laid on the floor and watched the clothes go round and round. It was something special and we didn't take it for granted. I still think about how grateful I am that we have it every time I wash a load of clothes.

Lately, I have been asked if we have several children because Odin made me. I've also been asked if Odin makes me stay home. Is he ok with women working outside the home? Why don't I finish school and get a job? Unfortunately, those who read this probably don't have these same questions, but let me set a few things straight.

Odin and I chose to have a large family. We always joked about having 6 children. We just never thought we would actually have 6 until we did. I wouldn't trade a single one of them even on our worst days. Odin does not make me stay home. In fact, I think he would love for me to go back to work as soon as possible. The problem is that I do so much with the house and kids during the day. I just don't know who would pick up the slack! Who's job would be more important if there are sick kids, problems at school, etc? I don't want to finish school right now because of time and money. Why spend money on a degree that I am not planning on using anytime soon? Why not wait and see what types of jobs are available and interesting and train for those instead?

So, does Odin think women shouldn't work? NO. I really don't think he cares what your gender is as long as you get the job done. Until recently, he has always seemed to land jobs where he is one of the few male employees. When we lived in Rockford, he was the ONLY male employee.

That's what Odin thinks. Here's what I think. Men and women are different. If you can prove me wrong, please do so. Women have babies. Men can't. Women are designed biologically to provide not only comfort and care, but 100% of the nourishment a baby needs for at least the first 6 months of life. My job was and is to care for the children I brought into the world. I still have two at home all day with me. I still have older children who need me when they get off the bus. Who, but me, will give them the love, attention, and guidance that only I can give? Should I pay someone else to raise my children when I can do it better? I not only love my children, but I really like them, too. I want to be home with them. I want to volunteer in the community and at church while not do it by taking away the few hours I have with my kids after school.

I am a bit defensive, but I'm shocked that there are people who look down on the choice we made almost 14 years ago for me to raise the children while Odin works outside of the home. If you truly want to know what I do, keep my schedule for a few days. Follow me around if you think you can keep up. Take note of all I do. I'd keep track of it all myself, but I'm too busy with more important things like raising my children.

NCATE is a thorn in my side

2009-03-28T13:35:00.003-06:00

and I'm not even doing all the work. Odin's been working like a madman for weeks and weeks. The review teams are here and the stress is on. I love how I've been told he can be called in at anytime of the day or night until they leave. On top of everything else, the day after the teams leave, he gets to head off to Jeffferson City. Not to sound unsupportive, but, WHEN WILL I GET MY BREAK!?

The good news? The next NCATE visit is seven years away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kalina's Winterguard photos

2009-03-28T11:27:00.003-06:00

Here are a couple of links to pictures of Kalina performing. She looks so pretty and grown up!

Kalina at Blue Springs Feb 14, 2009

Kalina at Smithville March 21, 2009 #1

Kalina at Smithville March 21, 2009 #2

Warrensburg JV at Smithville

Warrensburg JV at Blue Springs

She's in Springfield today for the Guard Championship today. I hope the weather holds and they get home safely!

It's no big deal

2009-03-25T10:10:00.005-06:00

I don't know how to convince my children that they are accomplishing great things. Kalina made the JV Winterguard team this year, is on the honor roll, won an essay contest about what the US Flag means to her and was inducted to the National Jr. Honor Society. When we tell her how proud we are of her, she responds with a look that could knock over a scarecrow. "It's no big deal, everybody does it." Really?! Everybody does it, or are we just lucky that her circle of friends are high achievers as well? I like to think the later!

The kids have grown, but...

2009-03-24T17:21:00.003-06:00

Here's the latest picture that I have on my computer of the family. Odin keeps them all on the desktop, and I just haven't had the time or motivation to put them on my computer. They've grown a bit since then, but it's really only been a few months!

It's been a LONG TIME

2009-03-24T17:14:00.002-06:00

Wow, it's been over a year since I posted. Lots has happened and I'm not sure where to start. I'll have to try and find time to write more as I really miss it.

The latest? We found the house of my dreams this past week. Unfortunately it was being sold at an estate auction. I found the house Wednesday, researched the auction, got the financing and took Odin to look at the house and decided we wanted it by 3:00 Thursday. Saturday rolled around and we were outbid. I was in a foul mood all Saturday afternoon. The interesting thing is that Odin got a call Monday morning from another university to let him know they would be checking his references. The timing is scary!

The DROID

2008-02-13T22:09:00.004-06:00

I'm going to bed now. The droid (the family's name for the scooba) can stay up and clean my kitchen floor for me! Gosh, I am such a good housewife and so good at multi-tasking that I can wash the floor and sleep all at the same time.
Goodnight.

Happy Valentine's Day

2008-02-13T11:55:00.002-06:00

We have finally convinced Odin that Valentine's Day does not equal candy! It should be a good day here tomorrow - No school and a 5 day weekend! Unfortunately, 4 out of the five kids are home sick today. We'll see if Acacia ends up sick in the next couple of days. I'm getting better at dealing with multiple sick children. The work never ends while they are awake, but at least they will rest here and there and veg out in front of the TV.

This year, I researched and bought a new toy that I am totally in LOVE with. Odin is relieved to know that this is what he is giving me for Valentine's Day. I have a Scooba to clean my floors for me!!!! The white kitchen floor is actually white, clean, and even shiny!!! I'll have the girls turn it on in the basement bathroom later today and then ALL the hard surface floors in the house will be clean!!! Best part - I don't have to supervise this machine - I can even leave the house while it is on!!!!! Odin's happy that I am not one of those women who hates getting appliances as gifts!

I finally found Rocketman at Amazon for Odin. It is such a hilariously silly movie that the family enjoys. "It wasn't me!" Odin and I watched it last night as the next few nights have us out and about and are our family TV nights.

We are braving mess and I found Moon Sand for the kids. They really like the small set we got for Valen and Cordelia and I thought it would be neat to get enough for them all at once. Gee whiz, it sure takes alot to get all five of them able to play at the same time. I ended up getting 2 of the big buckets and a couple more play sets. For us, it works better than play dough because it doesn't dry out.

Busy weekend, but at least the kids are fever sick and not puking sick!

Getting older, but still having fun!

2008-01-23T12:56:00.000-06:00

Check out Odin playing around on a Sunday morning. No special effects, this is how the light saber shows up on camera.

Odin as a Jedi Video on MySpace

Time for change

2008-01-22T09:57:00.000-06:00

Notice anything different? I had my hair cut yesterday, and just for fun, had it temporarily straightened. IT TOOK AN HOUR! I get to keep it this way until I wash it later in the week. She did show me how to do it, but who has an hour to work on their hair?

Valen didn't like it too much and stayed away from me for a few hours. He wouldn't even take a cup from me. The other kids think it looks weird. Odin and I kinda like it, but the curls are so much easier.

I wonder if I went to the capital with straight hair one day and curly the next, if they would think I was two different people voicing my support for midwifery. It'd be fun to try!

Not quite two -

2008-01-14T20:19:00.000-06:00

On Wednesday, Valen will be two years old. It seems to me that this child, the youngest of the six has come into his "twoness" quite early. The words and signs have been there for a while. He is able to get into the treehouse, able to get up on the trampoline, gets onto the counter to get into the upper cabinets and last but not least he knows how to get on the computer.

This last one is the reason I have been so quiet lately. Around December 20, Valen climbed up and opened my closed laptop and proceeded to rip 21 keys off the keyboard, and chew on a few before I realized what he was doing. To make it a little funnier - I WAS IN THE KITCHEN - 10 feet away, with no walls between us. Needless to say, he did this in record time. I have been without my laptop in the dining room since then. It came home fixed and with a big price tag on Friday.

Odin has up a group shot of the kids at Christmas, and as soon as I catch up and get the photos downloaded, I'll get more up!

RETRACTION

2007-12-14T09:43:00.000-06:00

Any and all comments I have ever made in support of the pediatric dentist, Dr. Kurt A. Aarons whose office is located on Belleview in Kansas City, MO, are hereby retracted. I received a surprising letter from his office.

I would like to share part of this letter with you. I was shocked to read,"Due to differing treatment philosophies, we feel that you would be more comfortable in an office that shares your same views and beliefs. We have cancelled Cordelia's appointment on December 17, 2007." I received this letter after business hours on Thursday, December 13.

So, this is what I believe. I guess I'm not sure what beliefs Dr. Aarons' office holds if he feels I need to go somewhere else to find someone who shares my beliefs. I believe that all children should be treated with respect. I believe that patients, parents and the healthcare provider should work together to decide what course of treatment is in the best interest of the child. I believe that a parent is the final decision maker of what is best for the child. I believe that it is best to discuss differences of opinion with all parties and not act on one persons experience and that which is overheard by another. I believe that a parent can be the best asset a healthcare professional, including dentists, can have in a room to reassure the child that everything is OK.

I understand that there comes a time when children are ready and able to go into the back with the dental staff alone. I also understand that the dental office is probably good at dentistry. I have no expertise in this area, hence the reason my children see a dentist. What I want is a dentist's office that understands that I have expertise as well. My area of expertise is my children. I know what they are capable of more so than any dentist. I work with them prior to any and all visits to the doctor, dentist, and any other situation that is out of the norm so they understand what will happen. When I am caught in a situation where I am not able to prepare a child, I will be by that child every step of the way.

For those of you who don't know me very well, I have been through several dentist visits with several children. About age 5, all the kids were able to say they could do it themselves when asked. Cordelia is 3.

The letter makes it sound as if they are doing me a favor instead of firing us as patients. I would like it put on the record that I was not contacted by the dentist or anyone else in the office to discuss this decision. My understanding is that my conversation with the office manager was overheard by another staff member and the dentist discussed it with them only. I was told this morning that the office manager told the dentist both sides of the story. However, I have yet to comprehend how both sides of the story are presented when only one side is present.

Please feel free to forward this post in it's entirety if you feel it will help parents make choices and formulate questions for their dentist or other healthcare professional. We all need support from others that know this one simple truth. We are all experts in our own children.

It's beginning to look alot like Christmas...

2007-12-12T06:51:00.000-06:00

so why is life so crazy? Shouldn't the "look" of Christmas follow the feel of Christmas? From programs to parties, it just seems like one thing after another. I am missing the days when I had no children in school and we baked every day between Thanksgiving and Christmas. We had quite the variety and quantity of treats. I would freeze them and we would have cookies until Easter.
Times change and so do traditions. We are now speeding through life at such a frenzied pace that the baking is going to be done right before Christmas. I am also trying to keep hold my "to do" list and know that it doesn't all have to be done. I don't have to keep the house really clean, I do have to keep it clean enough so we don't get sick. The house doesn't have to be decorated perfectly, but the decorations need to have meaning.
I have found new meaning in my Christmas tree star this year. Our star is on it's last leg, but I think I am going to take some time this next year to try and fix it instead of getting a new one. This star is one of the first Christmas tree decorations Odin and I bought at a sale after our first Christmas together. This year, it is looking sad and crooked. No matter how many times we get up there and straighten it, it looks like it is going to fall off the tree any moment. I have given up on the idea of having a perfect star on my tree. Come to think of it, this star is representative of how I should live my life. I am far from perfect, and many times I am looking sad, frazzled, and in all honesty, probably a little crooked as well. I do my job and I do it well, just as that star is up there reminding us of Jesus' birth. After all, what is in our hearts, and how we express that in our daily life through words and actions, not what we look like doing it that is important.
Reading over this, I realize that the words sound a little awkward, but that's ok! Maybe I won't fix the star this year. Maybe the new tradition will be a crooked star.

Snow Day

2007-12-11T13:43:00.000-06:00

It's that time of year again as the winter weather is upon us. It is wet and rainy and we are bracing for ice. Church was cancelled Sunday, we had school yesterday, and we are closed today. The weather isn't behaving as predicted and the temperatures have held. The roads are wet, but not very slick at this point. The latest is that the temps will drop tonite and we'll have ice all over the place.

I'm not complaining, though. We had a whole day to play! Odin was able to get to work safely, all homework was done last night, and we haven't had to rush around at all. Half the kids are still in their pjs!

I could handle a few more days like this!

"Little kids are so gullible"

2007-12-08T18:49:00.000-06:00

The older kids have figured out that Valen will believe everything they say. When they want him to leave them alone, they will use almost any story to get him to run to the other side of the house. For quite some time they have used, "Go see if Daddy's home," and "Want a bath?" Those have been quite easy to figure out as Daddy and bath are two distinguishable words in his ever increasing vocabulary.

The latest and greatest way they are getting Valen to leave them alone is to tell this sweet little almost two year old boy that I have candy for him. The poor child is constantly coming up to me saying, "canny? mooore?" When I tell him he can't have any, he'll stop his foot and say, "neet now, momma!" Like I'm going to give into that one.

Why baby-proofing your house is not enough!

2007-11-27T14:07:00.000-06:00

I have locks on certain cabinets, the medicines are out of reach, small things are kept out of little hands and mouths. You would think this would be enough.

THINK AGAIN - I have two words for all of you: CHRISTMAS SNOOP

I was the queen of snooping at Christmastime. My kids are getting there earlier than I was and they are blaming the little ones. "I didn't open the door, Valen and Cordelia did it." When I ask who told them to do so, and who helped, I get the truth. "I did." Hey, at least they're honest!

So now is the season for snoop-proofing on top of the baby proofing!

Magic Driveway

2007-11-20T06:31:00.001-06:00

I'm not kidding! We really have a magic driveway.

We were in the process of cleaning out and getting rid of stuff as we thought we were heading out of state. What we have found out in the process is that almost anything, not wrapped in a trash bag, will disappear from the end of our driveway very quickly.

We didn't actually see the stuff disappear, but what else could it be when the stuff is gone within an hour or so?

We had 2 beat up dressers, a queen size mattress and boxspring, a framed print that was stained and the glass cracked, an extremely old treadmill, as well as various toys find a new home via the magic driveway. What is so funny is that the neighbors' driveways aren't as magical. At least one has asked if they can use mine to see if their stuff would magically disappear instead of ending up in the garbage truck!

I finally have an adult bedroom!!!

2007-11-19T17:07:00.000-06:00

Ok, so that title may sound odd, considering I've been married for 12 years, but it's true!

My consolation prize for the roller coaster ride of stay/go around here was getting a new bedroom set. I just put my clothes and things away and it all fits in half of the dresser and in half of the drawers under the bed. I still have an empty chest of drawers!!!! Does this mean I have to convince Odin I need to go shopping?

Plans change!

2007-11-19T16:09:00.001-06:00

The last several weeks have been a roller coaster of activity and emotion. This time last week, we were waiting to see if Odin would be getting an offer from SUU. For my own sanity, I pretty much had written off that possibility. Tuesday an offer comes through and Odin and I do the math. Even if they came back with nothing more, we would take it. So I quickly jump on planning the move.

Keep in mind that I can work fast when needed. Talk to the schools, turn in my resignation at the church, figure out where we will live, get the movers, and so on. I am amazed at how much I got done in such a short amount of time. Odin comes home on Wednesday and tells me that UCM may have a better offer for him and that now, once again, we wait. WAIT!?!? I have 5 weeks if we move to Utah, and he says WAIT!?!?

Friday night, Odin walks in the door and tells me we are not moving. His program will be moved to another department and he will be made the chair. Good for us both financially and for his career.

However, the moral of this story is not that good things come to those who wait, nor is it that slow and steady wins the race. Instead, I should learn that sitting back, relaxing, and planning things thoroughly in my head can sometimes be better than racing around and actually accomplishing something! Just kidding. Even though all this week I get to spend reconstructing the life I so efficiently was deconstructing!

It's not surprising, but it is frustrating

2007-11-19T10:39:00.000-06:00

I have been trying to find out who is responsible for the no VBAC policy in Warrensburg. In particular, I have been trying to get something in writing. Imagine my complete lack of surprise that I can't find someone willing to take a stand FOR this policy. I am getting quite a bit of run around. I have been told that women who have had previous c-sections are not "allowed" to refuse a repeat c-section because it is a life or death decision and the hospital does not need consent in those situations. I have been told that if a woman were to choose to try and make it to the city and end up having a baby on the way, she would have made a choice to put her and the baby at risk when she could have just had the c-section in town. Let's see, cut her open just because, or let nature take its course and only intervene in a true life or death emergency. I don't know about you, but I would choose the latter.

The best so far is that I heard from one doctor's office that this is a LIABILITY decision and not a patient safety decision! This sounds very close to the whole midwifery argument. Too much can go wrong too quickly, so only doctors should be at the birth, in a hospital, with an operating room and a scalpel at arms reach. GIVE ME A BREAK.

If this is true, and both VBACs and midwifes are too dangerous because anything can happen at a moment's notice, then why don't we legislate that all women have to have c-sections? After all, the doctors in general are saying that birth can cause problems quickly. If they can't care for women in low risk situations after VBACs, and if they can't support and offer care to a women should she be transfered from a homebirth with a competent midwife, how can they be trusted to deliver any babies, especially those of a first time mother?

As I keep digging on this issue, I'll keep posting about it.

She did it!!!!!

2007-11-18T08:09:00.000-06:00

We have been trying for so long, but Cordelia finally did it last night! AND, to sweeten the deal, she did it HAPPILY!!!!!

So, what did she do, you ask? Well, my darling little girl got into bed, let us kiss her goodnight and turn out the lights, and she went to sleep and stayed in her bed until this morning!!!!!!

OK, to be honest, she got up once because she said it felt like there was sand in her bed. To be perfectly honest, there was sand in the bed, and after we took care of the problem, she went back to bed.

Hopefully, this is the start of easier evenings for all of us!!

Warrensburg, MO and VBAC

2007-11-15T12:50:00.000-06:00

I am overwhelming frustrated with the state of birth in Missouri, specifically Warrensburg. I found out today that it is certain that Western Missouri Medical Center will no longer "allow" women to have a vaginal birth after a Cesarean. If I were to become pregnant again, this would mean that even though babies 3,4,5, and 6 were unmedicated, vaginal births, just because babies 1 and 2 were surgical deliveries, I would be forced to have a major operation to welcome another child whether or not that particular pregnancy had any complications or not.

I have several questions about this policy, a few of which I have shared below.
1. What if I refuse to consent to surgery? Will you get a court order and tie me down before you slice me open?
2. Are you really going to practice the idea of informed consent? Are you going to tell me all the risks associated with a c-section vs the lesser risks of a VBAC?
3. Are you willing to back up this policy with current, reliable, non-biased research? The last discussion I had with certain physicians at Western Missouri Medical Center showed me that this current department did not follow current research when it came to breastfed babies and surgery.
4. Who is making this decision, and why am I having such a hard time getting a copy of a written policy.

There are soooooo many thoughts running through my head on this topic. First I need to arm myself with written policies, evidence, and the like. Next, I'm on a quest to right a wrong.

Wolfman spotted!

2007-11-13T08:00:00.000-06:00

It's probably time I open up and publicly declare that I am married to a wolfman.

Odin is showing signs of transformation daily and it won't be too much longer until his ruggedly handsome facial features are indistinguishable from those of his cousin, the wolfman. So, if you see a hairy man wandering around in a suit, don't follow your instinct and run, it's just Odin showing off his ability to grow facial hair! He's promised that just like many furry creatures, the hair will disappear in the warmer months of spring.

Mt. Washmore

2007-11-12T09:36:00.001-06:00

I told Byron to come back to my room last night because I had something for him. I pushed a full basket of clean laundry his way and told him it was his very own Mt. Washmore. I don't know why, but he got very giddy and started talking about his mountain and how he had to conquer it. I have never seen him fold and put away laundry so quickly. Maybe I should have had him do the towels too!

Not knowing is worse than knowing

2007-11-12T09:27:00.000-06:00

Have you ever been too afraid to get an answer because you are afraid of what the answer might be?

Not me! Especially not now. The not knowing is just about killing me. I am wandering the house trying to figure out what to do next. I have too many things that I am waiting to hear back on that I am in a weird situation of lots to do, but not really able to do any of it until I get some answers.

I guess I'll do the laundry and the dishes. No matter what happens, the laundry and the dishes will always be there waiting for me.

Cordelia's idea

2007-11-12T09:18:00.000-06:00

Cordelia did fine while were away, but now that we are home, she wants Valen to step aside.

According to my 3 1/2 year old, "You had enough baby boy time when you went on your trip. I want Cordelia time." She just doesn't understand that he needs to nurse every day whether we are at home or out of town!

FOLLOW YOUR PASSION

2007-11-02T17:10:00.000-06:00

The weekend is here and we are busy as ever. Odin and Byron are camping with Cub Scouts tomorrow through Sunday, and I leave tomorrow for the LLL of Mo Conference. I am presenting a session on Following your Passion while Raising Your Family. Here's what I am am hoping the attendees will understand when they leave:

I want to be my children's Mom, but I don't want to JUST be their Mom. I want to be ME! That includes being the best Mom I can be, while modeling that I am important too! My passions are a worthwhile endeavor that make me a better person. In turn, following my passions makes me a better Mom!

I will do my best to prioritize my life to include taking time for my passions. I won't need to neglect my children as I will find a way to make sure their needs are met. I will utilize the support of others to meet this goal and I will do my best to support them in turn.

So much to do!!!

2007-10-31T08:11:00.000-06:00

I haven't been posting lately because I have been running around barely taking time to refuel. So here's the latest.
- I now have a 6th grader, 5th grader, 2nd grader, a preschooler, and a toddler. Byron was promoted to the 5th grade this past Monday. So far, so good. We pray this will be a better fit for him.
-We are talking with a Realtor here in town to try and figure out what we would need to do to sell the house should Odin get a new job soon.
- I am speaking at the Missouri La Leche League conference this weekend.
-And the big news.... Odin, Valen and I are flying out to Utah on Monday.

I can't just drop that on you without an explanation. Odin has an interview at Southern Utah University and I am tagging along to check out the area, housing, and schools. I have two friends coming with their kids to keep my older four in line and Odin and I will only have the baby with us.

The stressful part of this situation is the not knowing. We don't know if he will get this job or not, but we do know the job starts in January. Lets see, housing market is not thriving and if he gets this job, we would have to relocate about 6 weeks later. We are definitely in a situation where I need to keep telling myself that God will put us where we need to be. As long as I do everything within my power, I have to trust that God will take care of the rest (the sleepy kind of rest, too!!).

Time to get back to Halloween preparations! The kids are going trick-or-treating downtown, and I get to help get balloons ready to pass out at the church. Check out Odin's blog in a few days for pictures.

Free the Midwives

2007-10-31T08:04:00.000-06:00

I am so far behind in everything related to midwifery and politics as of late. I have been following the progress of the midwifery legislation in the court system. Following is an excerpt from an email from my friend Mary Ueland about where things stand and how we can all pitch in and help! It is amazing how so many have stepped up and helped with funding. We were able to pay down the legal bill she is referring to, but the bills won't stop until the case is over and done with. We still have a long way to go.

You only protect your liberties in this world by protecting the other man's freedom. You can only be free if I am free.
Clarence Darrow

Dear Friends, Supporters, & Miscellaneous "Bad Guys" that end up on the Lists,

We are still waiting to hear exactly when the Missouri Supreme Court will take up the midwifery law case, but it looks like it will definitely be after the first of the year. Our side has until Thanksgiving to get all of their legal briefs filed with the Supreme Court, then the other side has 30 days to file respondents briefs... and then, and then... as you know, court cases move very slowly.

I know that some of you pregnant women are anxiously waiting to know if your midwives will be legal by your due date. And I know others of you find the court case to be taking an excruciatingly long time....

During this waiting time, there is much to be done and much has been occurring around the state and across the nation. In our state, many positive things have been occurring. We continue to receive positive coverage of the midwifery issue - most recently the front page of the Kansas City Star -
http://www.kansascity.com/105/v-print/story/307680.html

Thanks to the time and effort that many, many people have put in, fund raisers and public awareness events have been occurring around the state.

~Several weeks ago, the Stockton area homebirth families sold baked goods at the local "Walnut Days" festival and raised over $500!
~Two weeks ago, the Springfield area homebirth families held a fund raising garage/bake sale, raising over $500 and, at the same time, educating everyone who stopped by about midwives.
~This weekend (Saturday, Oct. 27, 9 am), the Kansas City area homebirth families are hosting a fund raiser in Kansas City. They will be showing the Business of Being Born (Rikki Lake's new documentary on birth and midwives) and holding a silent auction, bake sale and round table discussion. If you would like to attend (Tickets in advance - $20), or have friends or family who might, please contact Cheryl - cheryl@kchomebirth.com or call 913-722-1721.
The St. Louis area homebirth families are planning a "Trivia Night" and silent auction Saturday, December 8, at the Ethical Society in St Louis and have hopes of raising several thousand dollars. If you would like to attend or donate to the silent auction, contact Samanda Rossi at: fommsrossi@sbcglobal.net.

Across the nation, though, there has been an unfortunate increase in midwifery arrests, prosecutions, and investigations. We are all wondering if the American Medical Association's SOPP (Scope of Practice Partnership, recently created to specifically target practitioners like midwives who they feel are making headway into their turf) is at least partially responsible for this sudden increase in midwifery prosecutions.

As a result, a group of birth and midwifery activists from around the country will be meeting in mid-November to talk about what we can do to stem the tide and increasingly hostile climate for midwives in certain states. Missouri will be well represented at the meetings and we'll keep you posted as we make plans to combat this and work together on the national front. We believe this truth:
"We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately."
Benjamin Franklin

Meanwhile, in spite of all the other stuff going on, our attorneys must keep plugging along at our case. They very generously agreed be flexible and waive the interest on our bills for now. However, we need to pay down our current bill before they are willing to proceed with the case.
We issued a challenge several weeks ago, needing $17,000. To date, we have paid that bill down to $11,000. But this bill MUST BE PAID by the first of next week in order to stay in the case heading to the Missouri Supreme Court!

A very generous family has stepped forward and agreed to match your donations THIS WEEK ONLY for up to $5,500! If we can raise $5,500 this week, they will match it, and we will have our bill paid up to date.

If you have not donated recently, please consider donating at this crucial time. If you don't have $500 to give, perhaps you can donate what is in your change jar. Perhaps you are willing to forgo buying another pair of shoes, and instead send in the money you would have spent on them. Or perhaps your mother-in-law could donate some money or sell her famous pumpkin pies...

Everyone can donate something.
Think about it - what can you give this week?

Donate online at: www.freethemidwives.org
OR by check or money order:
Free the Midwives
PO Box 2319
Rolla, MO 65402

Thank you all so much!

Sincerely and Gratefully,
Mary Ueland

History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats. - Bertie C. Forbes

Colorado!?

2007-09-28T21:46:00.000-05:00

Now that he's clued me in a little more on the job hunt, Odin has let me know that he applied for a job in Colorado. Not just any job at any university, but UCCS. This is incredibly funny to me. I asked Odin if he knew that the UCCS library was where I did the bulk of my research for the debate team in high school. The building has changed quite a bit in the past several years, and it looks like the somewhat close parking I enjoyed is no more!

So, it makes me ponder the thought of moving back to where I grew up. What would it be like to live within walking distance of my parents. Tonight, as the kids are begging to stay up "just a few more minutes," made me dream of having help nearby when Odin is out of town. Better yet, as we start to enter the teen years, wouldn't it be nice to say the following to a cranky child, "Take a walk and tell Grandma and Grandpa all about how mean your mom is."

The downside would be that Grandma and Grandpa may actually sympathize with their grandkids over things I would never have gotten away with!

Utah and North Dakota

2007-09-27T16:33:00.000-05:00

To amuse myself, I have started checking out Utah and North Dakota. These are the two places that Odin has clued me in on regarding his job search. So far, Utah is noteworthy because midwifery is expressly legal! I am very excited, not because I want another baby (Mom and Grandma - take a breath!), but because I won't have to spend so much time working on that piece of legislation and can pester the lawmakers about other things. North Dakota is a little tricky in the sense that I just can't make heads or tails of the information I've found thus far. I'll have to keep digging.

The positive side of North Dakota is the fact that it is much closer to family. We are talking 2-6 hours to lots of relatives. Maybe someone would even offer to watch the kids every now and then (hint, hint). The house listings on realtor.com looked promising as well and Odin would be able to chose a new (well, newer) house or a really old one. Truthfully, housing in either state would be doable.

The big thing I am wondering about is the weather. While I think it gets cold here in MO, I am sure I would get a rude awakening in either place. Let's just hope the jobs would start after this winter. Otherwise, I'll just stay indoors as much as possible if we move during the winter!

On my own

2007-09-27T16:20:00.000-05:00

Odin has gone to Virginia and left me alone, outnumbered, and with a messy house. The odds are against me, but what the kids don't seem to understand is that though they think they are coming up with new tricks, I have seen and done it all. In fact, I did it better! No sneaking around watching late night TV on my watch!

Ethics in Action: The Courage to Stand Up

2007-09-25T07:34:00.000-05:00

A friend sent me the following to help me gain a little perspective.

Ethics in Action: The Courage to Stand Up

(by Mark S. Putnam)

Standing up for your ethical principles takes courage. Courage is the ability to face danger, difficulty, uncertainty, or pain without being overcome by fear. When you see something happening that just doesn't seem right do you have the courage to stand-up and do something? What are you afraid of? Retribution, disapproval, your image, damaged relationships, or simply the unknown? Courage is about setting aside your fear and taking action for the good of yourself or someone else.

The principle of standing up to protect someone's rights as well as basic principles of honesty, moral virtue, and ethical behavior is a noble cause. We need to have a sense of moral justice in our approach to unethical behavior so it disturbs something deep within our character when we see it.. But simply being offended by wrongdoing is not enough. Courage comes in confronting those feelings inside and taking action.

A courageous person is that one individual in a crowd of onlookers who actually steps out and does something. A young man named Kristopher Kime who was beaten to death while trying to rescue a woman during the Seattle Mardi Gras riots showed enormous courage. He probably had the same feelings of fear, shock, hesitation, and anger that you would experience in the midst of a street riot. But he did something extremely courageous by stepping out from the stunned crowd to save an innocent life. When you stand up for principles of goodness and virtue it may feel like a mob attack.

Human nature tells us that if nothing is ever said or done about bad behavior it will continue or get worse. Allowing things to "slide" will eventually take everything else for the same ride. Ethics without the component of courage to stand-up for it keeps it in the realm of heady philosophy and out of reality.

So, what does courage look like on a daily basis? There are no crowds of onlookers or T.V. cameras to record your courage or pass judgment. It's usually just you and maybe a few others, face-to-face or on the other end of the phone. The first level of action is your initial reaction. Questioning what sounds wrong. Suggesting alternatives. This is a courageous, ethical reflex. In order for this quick response to become a natural reflex, you need to be prepared in your mind and character and be ready for a response.

The second level is to approach the person with whom you have a problem. This is NOT easy. Most of us don't naturally confront people. To most of us, the courage to actually go up and talk face-to-face takes a superhuman Kristopher Kime level of courage. Your voice trembles, stomach hurts, beads of sweat roll down your face. It certainly FEELS like a life or death struggle. But remember, courage is about facing difficulty without being overcome by fear.

The third level of action is to find help. Especially when someone else's rights or property are at play you need to take things to the next level. Rather than think of yourself as a "tattle-tale," consider yourself a courageous "change-agent for good." Again, this is not easy. Be ready. Having someone fight your battle for you may be harder than fighting it yourself. You still have to face your coworkers AND you lose most (or all) control over the path to a solution.

Principles of decency, integrity and what is good and right are not to be treaded upon lightly. Ethics is more than just following a set of rules, it is a part of our deeply-held belief system that makes-up the core of our character. It is worth protecting. It is worth stepping out in courage and making personal sacrifices.

Whether you think you share the courageous qualities of a hero or not…rest assured that you do.

Surgery cancelled

2007-09-24T11:37:00.000-05:00

I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or feel relief. Surgery was canceled today. The head of anesthesiology did not feel that we would get the best care as "everyone" was apprehensive about our case. He suggested we stay away for at least 3 months. I'm not sure what will happen next, but a new town is looking better and better right now.

He said that policies need to be clear. My thoughts are that if his policy had been clear, and that if he and his colleagues had answered my questions and not backed away from them, that we would never have gotten to this point. Odin leaves on Wed for his NCATE trip. Surgery cancelled may not be such a bad thing.

Healthcare system

2007-09-24T08:21:00.000-05:00

We are off! #6 is going in to have his tonsils reduced and his adenoids removed this morning. He is getting away with more than I could ever imagine as he can't eat or drink and I am trying to keep him distracted.

I have put forth so much effort into getting to know the healthcare providers we use here in town as well as in the city. It just recently dawned on me that I will have to start all over once Odin finds a new job.

I have to wonder if whatever town get us will be ready for me? Odin will fit in anywhere - hardworking, team player that he is. You know the type - works too hard too often! But then there is me. I can't seem to keep my mouth shut when something isn't right. It's not the little things, it's the stuff that could potentially harm my family, or for that matter, the next family in line. I figure if it affects us, it's got to be an issue for another family as well. I know I can stand up for what's right, the next person might not be able to speak up for a variety of reasons. Maybe that's why I like politics so much!

So, back to the point. Odin is job hunting seriously again. So, I have to check out all the areas to which he applies. What are the schools like? Healthcare? Breastfeeding and midwifery legislation? The list goes on and on.

Well, I guess know I'll have to find time to do the research as it's way too important!

Small town vs. Big (well, bigger) City

2007-09-23T16:06:00.000-05:00

I know, I haven't posted in what seems like eons, but it's not like I am sitting around eating bon bons all day. Partly because I don't know if there are any bon bons out there that are gluten and dairy free, but mostly because life in around here is busier than usual.

Aside from the fact that I am trying to keep up with the legalities of midwifery here in MO, I have started a new bakery business, Deanna's Kitchen. Now, to top it all off, Odin is starting to clue me in more on his job search.

While I do like where I live, and I love our home, I realize that Odin has dreams and I am more than happy to support him in any new venture. We will find a home and find our niche in whatever new community we choose. What I'm more stressed about is the fact that he is not limiting his search to small college towns! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A BIG CITY!!!!!!!!! Give me a small town, a house with a view of something not flat and empty space not too far away and I'll be happy. As much as I want him to succeed, I hope the universities in the small towns are the ones interested in him and the bigger schools find someone else!

Nikki's Blog: Audio clip of HB818 Controversy

2007-05-15T21:11:00.000-05:00

Nikki's Blog: Audio clip of HB818 Controversy

Nikki has listened to the entire audio discussion of HB818. I had to listen a few times to understand what was being discussed. Senator Graham mentions that anytime the word license and the Senator from the 7th (Loudon)are mentioned together that he gets nervous. He asked Senator Ridgeway about her amendment, but he never asked about the Senate Substitute for HB818.

Check out Nikki's page count as well. 55 pages in the House to 131 in the Senate. There's gotta be more than just midwifery in this bill.

-deanna

Upset??? READ BEFORE YOU VOTE!

2007-05-15T10:33:00.000-05:00

I am very glad that I was out of town this past week when a number of things happened with midwifery legislation in the state of Missouri. Apparently, a bill that would allow CPMs a way to provide services in Missouri is on the governor's desk. What I want to know is how this happened, especially since Senator Graham had been vowing to filibuster at any chance he got.

My understanding is that an amendment was placed on another bill (HB 818) that referenced a federal statute. They did not use any of the following hot button words: midwife, midwifery, pregnancy, childbirth, postpartum, etc. They merely referenced the statute. So, in essence, if a midwife is licensed in another state, she (or he) can provide services in MO.

Some say the way it was done was unethical, underhanded and even dishonest. How is it dishonest? Each and every senator and representative had the chance to read the amendment and ask questions. Someone could have asked about the federal statute that was referenced. Out of all the legislators, couldn't someone have researched it, or had someone they trusted research it?

In my personal opinion, I don't know if I would have done it this way. However, I am outraged that Senator Loudon is being called a liar. There is much work for our legislators and many paths which they can take to get the work done. Senator Loudon played within those rules just as Senator Graham played within the rules when he took such a vehement stance against midwifery. I didn't like what Senator Graham was doing, but I respected that it was what he needed to do since he felt so strongly about his position to keep women and babies out of the hands of the best prenatal, labor, delivery, and postpartum care in low risk situations.

By the way, Senator Graham was one of those who didn't do his research. In the end, he voted for midwifery. Maybe I should call him and say thanks for supporting midwifery. Wouldn't that just make his day.

-deanna

Official Missouri State Invertebrate

2007-04-28T10:08:00.000-05:00

This is so good! It needs to be framed and hung on the wall!

From page 1066 of the Missouri State Senate Daily Journals:

HB 351, introduced by Representative Wood, et al, entitled:
An Act to amend chapter 10, RSMo, by adding thereto one new section relating to the designation of the official state invertebrate. Was taken up by Senator Goodman.

Senator Loudon offered SA 1, which was read:
SENATE AMENDMENT NO. 1
Amend House Bill No. 351, Page 1, Section 10.125, by deleting all of said section and replacing it with the following:
“10.125. The Missouri Medical Society shall be known as the official invertebrate of the state of Missouri due to their unwillingness to compete with a bunch of midwives.”

Senator Loudon moved that the above amendment be adopted.

At the request of Senator Loudon, SA 1 was withdrawn.

Now he's invading my dreams!

2007-04-27T08:03:00.000-05:00

Lately I have had a recurring dream. It's not necessarily a great dream, but it is no where near what you might call a nightmare. I have been dreaming about myself and Senator Chuck Graham. Intrigued? Read on...

The dream starts with me being anxious and nervous. I'm at the capital building and my kids are no where to be seen. For some strange reason, even the baby is missing from this dream. I decide to stop by Sen. Graham's office just on the off chance that something I say or do might influence his behavior and he will just let SB303 come to a vote. I'm not hopeful, but I enjoy talking with Beverly, and I get a chuckle out of Ted sticking his head around the corner to see who is in the outer office.

I start talking to Beverly, who notices right away that my arms are empty and there are no children hanging on my skirt. We chit chat a little, and right on cue, Ted sticks his head around the corner and pops back into the inner office. I smile to myself and am about to leave when the unthinkable happens. Ted invites me into the inner office to have a sit down with Senator Graham himself!

I'm about ready to pee my pants! I think, "Does he know who I am? Does he want to talk about midwifery or something else?" I steel my nerves and walk in. We sit down and he comments that many midwifery supporters have stopped by this session, and he thought it was only fair to hear one of them out. WHAT!?

I start out by asking him if he has read the bill in it's entirety. He replies, "No, but if it is anything like last years, I will continue to oppose it." (Side note: I really don't know if he has read the bill or not.)

"Why haven't you read the bill, Senator?" I ask.

"What's the point? Babies need to be born with a trained medical professional present, and a midwife trained by some internet course just isn't good enough," he says as he smiles stubbornly.

I shock him by saying, "Your right about one thing, a midwife trained by some internet course just isn't good enough." Senator Graham sits up a little straighter, almost like he thinks he has won. I continue, "Please read the bill and show me where the training required is just some internet course," I say as I hand him a copy of the bill. Hold onto your seats, ladies and gentlemen. HE READS THE BILL RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF ME!

I can tell he is getting irritated that he can't find anything to back up his internet course argument. I am getting a little excited and I am the one to sit up a little taller this time. "Senator Graham," I say ever so sweetly, "It seems to me as if the actual bill may be something other than what you thought it was. I have heard you debate the midwifery legislation on the floor, and if even one third of your points were true, I would work twice as hard against this bill instead of supporting it. I would be more than happy to run down your list of concerns and address them with facts and evidence. I'll even keep the touchy, feelly, emotional stuff to a minimum."

"You know, Mrs. Jurkowski, I'd like that," he replies. We sit there and discuss things like education, training, insurance, safety, and even cleanliness of a home vs hospitals. All in all, it was a very good discussion.

To keep this post from getting that much longer, I'll cut to the end. As I get up to leave, still feeling that he is totally against this bill, he asks to to stay just one more minute. "Mrs. Jurkowski, you have made your case well, but not well enough. I still think that babies should be born with physician in attendance."

I am feeling very dejected at this point, but at least I tried. "Well, thank you for your time, Senator Graham," I say as I start to walk out the door.

"Wait a minute, I'm not finished," he says. I turn around and he has this weird smile on his face. "You have made you case well, and while I cannot see myself supporting this bill, I do think that it is time I stopped holding it hostage and filibustering at every chance. If all it takes is for me to keep quiet for it to get to a vote in the Senate, than that's what I'll do."

My knees are weak and it is a really good thing there was a chair right behind me! "Are you serious, Senator? I mean, you aren't just saying this so you can get out there and talk about the germs toddlers carry and anyone taking an internet course again, are you?"

He smiles nicely and says, "You deserve a chance. I am still voting against this bill, but your persistence and knowledge of the issue, as well as the evidence you present has impressed me enough to make me discontinue my intense opposition to stop this bill at all opportunities."

I finally compose myself, thank him again, and walk out the door saying a quick goodbye to Beverly. I continue to walk down the hall, turn a corner and then allow myself to jump up and down for joy. Two seconds later, I am on my cell phone calling those who need to know that Senator Graham has said he will not oppose the bill coming to a vote because as you all know, good news travels fast!

The dream doesn't continue to the outcome of a vote in the Senate, but I wake up with a smile anyway!

Wouldn't it be nice if this dream would come true?

-deanna

Article inThe Daily Star-Journal, Warrensburg, MO

2007-04-25T18:28:00.000-05:00

Following is an article written after I did an interview with the local paper. It even made the front page!
-deanna

Permission granted from Skye Cobb of The Daily Star-Journal to post in its entirety.
Local Woman Lobbies For Midwife Bill In Senate And House
By SKYE COBB
Star-Journal Staff Writer
A local woman is working hard to get a midwifery bill passed in the
Missouri State Senate and House.
Missouri Senate Bill 303 and House Bill 503 would create a Board of
Direct-Entry Midwives within the Division of Professional Registration.
This board would consist of three Certified Professional Midwives, one
physician, and one public member. Senate Bill 303 would allow the state to
regulate who is practicing with the power to issue licenses and to suspend,
revoke or deny the license of a direct-entry midwife.
Currently in Missouri it is a felony for a midwife to deliver a baby at
home and there are organizations, such as Friends of Missouri Midwives,
Missouri Midwives Association and the Show Me Freedom in Health Care
Political Action Committee who are attempting to give the choice of where a
baby is born back to the mother.
Deanna Jurkowski is lobbying at the capitol for the passage of this
bill, which would allow mothers in Missouri the choice of where their baby
is born.
Jurkowski said that midwifery is legal, or not illegal, in 40 states and
that by making it illegal and unavailable, it is increasing the number of
unattended home births that occur, often with no one there who knows how to
stop a hemorrhage or resuscitate a baby.
She said she has been working for three years to get this bill passed.
According to Jurkowski, the Missouri Medical Association is coming out
strongly against this bill.
"It's all volunteers," said Jurkowski. "We do not have a paid lobbyist.
We're a grassroots movement. We've been working diligently for the last
three years."
The bill has passed the House twice before and was blocked in the Senate
both times. This time Jurkowski said she believes it's getting farther in
the Senate because legislators know more about the midwife profession.
"We've gotten farther than we've ever gotten before," said Jurkowski.
"We've perfected the bill; now we're waiting on the roll call vote. Sens.
(Chuck) Graham and (Yvonne) Wilson have said they're going to filibuster so
we're just not sure what's going to happen from this point on."
She said that she has talked with Sen. Chris Koster and that in the past
he's been supportive, but this year he's been much more supportive.
"We're not sure but with enough work, we're pretty sure we could pass
the House again," said Jurkowski.
She is somewhat worried about a lot of new people in the House. She said
that getting this bill passed is not only about getting information out
there, but combating the misconceptions of what a midwife does.
"There are people who think that midwives will perform abortions and
that's not true," said Jurkowski. "All a midwife is there for is to provide
care during a normal pregnancy. They do prenatal care and the child birth,
check on the mother afterwards, but if anything comes up that is outside of
normal, they will transfer that patient to the hospital."
Jurkowski said that she has had an illegal home birth, but in Illinois,
not in Missouri.
"That child died," said Jurkowski. "But that child died because she had
a heart defect, she had surgery and something happened during the surgery."
In the subsequent investigation the doctor reported to the coroner's
report that the child had had a home birth and that it was a lack of
prenatal care.
"Well we could produce prenatal records, but we had to cross off all
identifying information about our midwife because they actually hunt down
and prosecute midwives in Illinois," said Jurkowski.
She said that right now if a mom chooses to have a home birth and
something goes wrong she has to call 911 and the midwife has to leave
because she'll be arrested and prosecuted.
"Women are choosing to take that risk anyway," said Jurkowski. "If this
bill passes it's going to license and regulate these midwives. We're going
to have a standard of care. They're going to be licensed. If something comes
up where there is a transport needed the midwife can go to the hospital with
the mother and she can relay all the information...It'll be safer for
mothers and babies."
She said that research shows that in a low-risk, healthy, normal
pregnancy a home birth is just as safe if not safer than a hospital birth.
Jurkowski stated that a midwife would be required to make a decision
whether a mother is healthy enough for a home birth; and that if they are
not, the midwife would not provide them with health care but send them to a
medical professional.
She said the other part of this bill regards collaborative practice
agreements, and that is where a midwife would have to have a doctor sign off
that he's going to be responsible for her actions and that is not going to
work.
This bill really focuses on Certified Professional Midwives, a
nationally recognized title and profession.
Midwives Continued from Page 1
"Certified Nurse Midwives are legal in the State of Missouri," said
Jurkowski. "They can do home births if they have a collaborative practice
agreement. There's only one doctor in the state willing to sign
collaborative practice agreements and he's not going to do it anymore. So
that means there's only one midwife doing home births in the State of
Missouri, legally."
She said that it sounds good in theory but that the doctor is putting
his license on the line for the actions of someone else.
"This bill says everybody's actions should stand alone," said Jurkowski.
"The midwives should stand alone, the doctors should stand alone, they're
only responsible for something they do."
If the bill passes, Certified Professional Midwives will be required to
go through the same training as in other states, with differences according
to the state.
The CPM credential is the only one that requires the midwife to have
training in out-of-hospital births.
Certified Professional Midwives are required to have 1,350 clinical
hours of one-on-one training with their preceptor plus their academic work,
which takes years of full-time study to complete, said Jurkowski.
They are also required to take the North American Registry of Midwives
(NARM) exam -- an eight hour written exam and demonstrate proficiency at 750
hands-on skills, before receiving their certification.
The CPM credential process is overseen by the National Organization for
Competency Assurance - the very same one that oversees nurses, nurse
practitioners and nurse midwives credential process.
She said that another issue that comes up with this bill is insurance
and the fact that midwives are not required to carry malpractice coverage.
"No insurance group is going to cover them because it would be
astronomical," said Jurkowski. "Currently in the State of Missouri a
physician is not required to carry malpractice insurance. Hospitals may
require them to, but Missouri State Law does not require them to carry
malpractice insurance."
She said that physicians are not required to disclose to their patients
whether or not they carry malpractice insurance. They don't have to inform
the patient of their history, background, education or insurance.
"A midwife, according to this bill, has to disclose all of these things:
the risks, the benefits, her training, how many births she's attended and
whether or not she carries insurance, which is a good thing. That means the
mom is getting all the information and is able to make a well reasoned
decision."
She said that sometimes it feels like they're (legislators) saying that
women in Missouri aren't smart enough to make a good choice.
"If you're going to complain about something you've got to be willing to
make a stand to fix it," said Jurkowski. "That's why I do what I do. ...
We're not going away. We'll keep pounding the pavement until we get there.
... We need the support. I know there are a lot of medical professionals who
disagree, but my opinion is that by not having midwives legal in the state
and regulated by the state that it's harming mothers and babies. I think it
would be much safer for both mothers and babies and families in general, to
have this option in the State of Missouri."
On April 15 Jurkowski received an e-mail which included a link to a
petition asking Missouri Legislators to allow Certified Professional
Midwives to practice in Missouri.
After posting the link on her blog, and as of April 24, there were 787
signatures on it.
For more information or to help the cause please call Deanna at (660)
530-4310 or visit her Web site at www.deannajurkowski.blogspot.com.
The petition is located at
http://www.petitiononline.com/MOMW/petition.html.

Radio program

2007-04-25T12:48:00.000-05:00

Back in January, the Vincent David Jericho show hosted a call in program about midwifery. Several of my friends participated in this program on KSGF Radio in Springfield, MO.

Check out the transcript.

Enemies

2007-04-25T12:13:00.000-05:00

What a title to start the morning! I came to a realization this morning at my weekly women's Bible study. We are currently reading If Experience is Such a Good Teacher, Why Do I Keep Repeating the Course? by J. Ellsworth Kalas.

Today's lesson was all about enemies. It is so easy for us to get caught up in the emotion and turmoil of a good cause and look at the opposition as our enemy. I am not talking about their position being the enemy, but the individual or group that is standing in our way. I myself get trapped in this frequently. There has been more than one occasion where I get irritated with an individual and focus on the person instead of the situation at hand.

In the case of SB 303, are the legislators who oppose this bill my enemies? While some may think so (if we use a mild definition of the word enemy), I think differently. My enemy is misinformation, fear, and lack of knowledge about the issue. My enemy is also whatever reason certain individuals refuse to have a reasoned conversation about midwifery.

If I were to stay so narrow minded that I considered those who opposed this bill as my enemy, I wouldn't get very far in life. This morning I decided to focus on the enemies that I have a chance at defeating (or at least wounding). The enemies I choose to take on in the case of midwifery legislation are fear, ignorance, mistrust, as well as others. I choose to work hard in an ethical manner so I am proud of my efforts no matter what the outcome. I chose to be diligent and stay strong so those who hold opinions on the other side know that I will be back. I will continue to initiate these conversations and to present information that backs up my position.

I am only one person, but I can change the world!

-deanna

Work or Volunteer

2007-04-22T22:56:00.000-05:00

Will I ever make a living from my talents, or will I continue to volunteer my time and talents to every good cause that comes along?

This is a discussion that Odin and I have frequently. I volunteer with the schools, the church, La Leche League, midwifery legislation, scouts, and several other little things that always seem to creep up.

Why is it that I must share my time with so many people? I'm good at what I do, but let's face it, so are others! Many times I stand up because I see a problem. I truly believe that if you don't like how something is working then you must be ready to offer an alternative. In addition, you must be willing to help implement the alternative. I see lots of problems in our world. I am willing to stand up, offer an alternative, and get my hands dirty fixing what I see broken.

Sometimes I think that when the babies are older, I'll get a job and contribute to the family monetarily. Realistically I know that it will never happen. Work would just get in the way of my efforts to change the world one person at a time!

-deanna

2007-04-19T22:45:00.000-05:00

Anticipation...Exhaustion...

Anticipation can conjure a myriad of emotions all at the same time. Excitement, hope, fear, frustration, and of course, exasperation and exhaustion are a few that I am dealing with today.

The political process can be very overwhelming. Our children are taught how a bill becomes a law in a simplified manner. We love School House Rock - I'm just a bill. The problem is that there is so much more to how a bill becomes a law. First read, second read, third read, perfection, hearings, voice votes, roll call votes... my head is spinning!

I remember thinking in 7th grade civics, "when will I ever use this stuff?" I now know. I use this stuff every day of the year, whether I am actively working on a bill or not. The days of thinking that I know it all are long gone, and to be honest, those days didn't last long at all. I learn more each and every year I stay involved in the legislative process.

The thought of giving up and giving in crosses my mind more often than I would like to admit, but then who's going to suffer from me sitting by and letting what I think is wrong stay the status quo? If I am wrong about licensing and regulating Certified Professional Midwifes in the state of MO, would someone please take the time to go over the evidence supporting the premise that babies should be born in hospitals with doctors in attendance? If I am wrong, will someone take the time to set me right with current research so I can truly act in the best interest of mothers and babies in MO? If I am wrong, show me why so I can step back, take a deep breath and relax for just a moment and revel in the moment that this is a battle I don't have to fight.

The problem is that current research and evidence clearly show that midwifery is as safe, if not safer than physician attended hospital births for low risk pregnancies and births. Even the federal government knows this. Healthy People 2010 (pg 6) says that the United States should increase the use of midwives.

Since I don't know everything, I look to the evidence to make up my mind. I forward information on the the legislators and anticipate their answers. I go through several emotions and settle on the one to fit each response. I hope those undecided will be won over by the facts. I get frustrated and exasperated with those who dig in their heels and decide they know best while spouting misinformation in their arguments. I get excited when a legislator shows their intelligence by contemplating the issue and the supporting documentation on both sides and making a choice base on the evidence.

I just realized the time, and the baby is yet again waking up. This post has gone off in all directions, and for that I am sorry. I hope those of you reading can see a glimmer of a point in the ramblings of a very tired mother of two sick babies and three grade school children who are off to school early in the morning.

Goodnight!
-deanna

2007-04-18T12:24:00.000-05:00

One step closer!

We are now on the Senate calendar for third reading! There is still a ways to go, but we are that much closer and have never been this close before.

Check out the following media coverage of yesterday's voice vote! Of particular interest to me is Senator Koster's comment that "It went through like a greased pig." I am so glad to see that my Senator is in support of this legislation!

STLToday.com

MissouriNet

belleviewnewsdemocrat.com

Check out the current status of SB303 to see for yourself!

If you haven't signed the petition in support of Midwifery, drop everything and DO IT NOW! We are up to 651 signatures!

-deanna

2007-04-17T16:13:00.000-05:00

Do you trust your Doctor?

Does your Doctor trust you?

I read a birth story the other day. The woman mentioned that she was not only seeing a CPM, but she was seeing an OB as well. I believe the CPM knew she was seeing the OB, but the OB fully believed that this woman would be delivering her child at the hospital with the OB in attendance. The woman felt she needed to do this based on a previous medical history and wanting to have certain lab tests and screenings performed. (in another entry I'll get into why CPMs can't order tests – they aren't doctors and aren't practicing medicine!)

With patients not telling their physicians the whole story, is it any wonder that they don't trust their patients until they have really gotten to know us? I am thankful that I have a family physician that knows my family. I worry every time I go to the ER, or see a new physician that someone will think I am beating my children. My family physician has seen them in action and knows what little monkeys I give birth to! Our physician knows that when my 8 y/o comes in and says he fell off the ladder to his loft, he really did. I often wonder how believable the truth really sounds.

I remember having to “prove” myself to an OB. We moved to a new town when I was 5 or 6 months pregnant with my second child. I wanted a VBAC and the OB said all the right things, but in the end I had a 2^nd cesarean. They said the baby's heart rate was too low. I had the same OB with my third child and again wanted a VBAC. This time I hired a doula. The baby's heart rate dropped a little during pushes (normal) and the OB said that since she knew from the past that I would let her do a cesarean if necessary that we could go a little longer than we did last time. WHAT!? Why make the situation sound worse to get your way? BTW, baby 4 was born at home, and because we moved to MO, and because we need to screen for a specific and rare defect, babies 5 and 6 were born in town at the hospital.

Why can't we trust one another to tell the truth and to tell the WHOLE truth? One reason is that as citizens of MO we have to go underground to find the best care.

If we lived in a state where midwives were able to attend homebirths, just think of the differences. A woman could decide she wanted a homebirth with a midwife, but she still wants certain prenatal screenings, etc. A midwife, who doesn't practice medicine, could send a woman to a physician along with records of prenatal care and the woman could get medical care from the physician AND the physician would have all the information. A woman, like me, could get a fetal echo cardiogram to rule out congenital heart defects. My baby and I could make an appointments for another echo once the baby arrived and I would have records of prenatal care. We wouldn't have the hospital threatening us if we didn't give up the name of our midwife, because it would all be above board and legal.

So many people are being hurt by the lack of above board homebirths attended by CPMs in the state of midwifery. It's not just the midwives who can't earn a living out in the open. It's the mothers, babies, fathers, siblings, and yes, even the doctors who suffer when we all can't be open, honest and trusting with one another about the best care choices and the best medical choices for those involved.

-deanna

2007-04-15T14:08:00.000-05:00

HOMEBIRTH PETITION - PLEASE SIGN!

Click Here for the Petition:

http://www.petitiononline.com/MOMW/petition.html

I received the following and wanted to pass it on. The link to the petition is at the end as well.

-deanna

A woman's right to give birth how and with whom she chooses is on the line. There is a bill pending right now in the Missouri House and Senate that will allow for Certified Professional Midwives to legally practice in the state, similar to the laws of 40 other states. (Senate Bill 303 and House Bill 503) Midwifery is truly the OLDEST profession for women.
Currently it is not legal to practice midwifery in Missouri due to others wanting to control how women give birth. In fact it is a felony for a midwife to deliver a baby at home even with the consent of the mother!

All of the well designed medical studies show homebirth with a professional midwife to be equally safe to hospital birth for healthy women. The World Health Organization (WHO) and the American Public Health Association (APHA) recommend increasing the role of midwives, as does the "Healthy People 2010" project in conjunction with the Centers for Disease Control (CDC)

Whether you chose to give birth at home or in the hospital does not matter. It only matters that you support the option to be available for women. Please sign the petition on the link below and let your legislators know that you want them to vote yes for legal professional midwifery in Missouri. It is urgent that you do this immediately as time is running out!

Click Here for the Petition:

http://www.petitiononline.com/MOMW/petition.html

Here is a link to find out who your MO legislators are. Put their names down on the petition if you can.

http://www.senate.mo.gov/llookup/leg_lookup.aspx

You will need your full zip code to find them. Here is the link to find out your full zip.

http://zip4.usps.com/zip4/welcome.jsp

Please forward to anyone you know living in Missouri.

Thank you!

For more information, check out:

www.friendsofmomidwives.org
www.missourimidwivesassociation.org
www.showmefreedompac.org

2007-04-14T10:01:00.000-05:00

Cost of heath care

We got a couple of bills in the mail yesterday. The bills themselves weren't surprises, but the amounts sure were.

My 14 month son had an ultrasound done to see if his testicles had descended. My cost? $400 for just the hospital. I have yet to get the radiologist's bill.

My 3 year old daughter had dental work done under general anesthesia at Children's Mercy South. Cost for the 3-4 hours? $8900. This does not include the dentist bill or the anesthesiologist's bill. I will have to pay $2000 of this amount.

My insurance has a $4000 out of pocket limit, and having a baby makes me pay it ALL. I can't even remember what the total bill was the last time we had a baby. Odin thinks between the hospital, Dr. and the labs they love to run, it was close to $10,000 for both me and baby. Personally, I think it was closer to $8000, but either way it's lots of money.

The last time I had a midwife attended birth my total cost for both midwife and supplies was under $700. BIG DIFFERENCE!

Midwives spend more time with their clients than a physician. The midwife is there during prenatal visits to educate the mother. A typical prenatal visit with a midwife lasts 2-3 times longer than a visit with a physician (although it may take longer at the Dr.'s office if you have a long wait!). A midwife spends as much time as necessary with a mother during her labor and birth. A physician spends little time during the labor and comes in to catch the baby at the end.

Here's the question: Why does it cost SO MUCH MORE to have a physician attended birth than a midwife attended homebirth?

-deanna

2007-04-13T17:07:00.000-05:00

I forgot about this one! - Toenails: a comparative argument

I'm famous! Well, not really, but it's nice to be quoted. Check out Kolbi's page for more midwifery information and discussion.

Here's my toenail argument.

Keep in mind that with all circular types of arguments, you need to be aware of whom you are speaking with, the mood in the room, time constraints, etc...

I was trimming the children's toenails and told them about how great grandpa had to have his toenails trimmed in the hospital when it hit me - this is the same thing as childbirth needing to happen in many places.

Think about trimming toenails for a moment. Most of us trim our own at home and help our children. Some need help and have someone assist them at home. Others have to go to a Doctor's office and still others need to have it done in a hospital setting.

So, how is the decision made as to where to cut toenails?

Each person makes the decision based on his or her health history. If there are issues that need to be addressed, than it is discussed with the appropriate health care professional. Diabetes and bleeding disorders are two reasons I know of.

Just because my grandfather had this problem, doesn't mean I do. Should I have to have my toenails trimmed in a hospital? Should we legislate that all toenails must be trimmed by a doctor?

SHIFT OVER TO CHILDBIRTH
Each person weighs their health history and circumstances. Low risk, good history? Why not have the baby at home? If there are concerns over certain things in a health history, why not have a hospital birth with a midwife, a family practice doctor, or an OB? And last, but not least, we have the perinatologist for those super high risk births.

Really now, if the legislators are saying no to CPMs, shouldn't they be legislating that all births be performed by perinatologists? (how do you think that would go over with OBs, and family doctors who think and say it is not a money issue?

So in a HUGE nutshell, that is the toenail argument and it really does flow better in person!

-deanna

2007-04-13T15:02:00.000-05:00

Check out this article!

Drugs, Knives, and Midwives
The U.S. maternity care system is in crisis. A grassroots movement to save it is under way.
—By Elizabeth Larsen
Utne Reader March / April 2007 Issue

-deanna

2007-04-13T13:27:00.000-05:00

He said what?!

It has come to my attention that a legislator said that “people can't be trusted to make the right choice. Government needs to take care of them.” My goodness! While I really hope this wasn't actually said, I know that it probably was in some shape or form. As I heard this through the grapevine, I cannot verify which legislator said this. I will however say that I am pleased that neither my Representative, nor my Senator has been linked to this comment.

Let's assume for a moment that this was not only said, but that there really are legislators who believe that government must take care of people because people make poor choices. If these legislators are correct, we are all in trouble.

Last time I checked the qualifications of elected officials, I found that they all must be residents of the district they are representing. This doesn't say they must be human people, but for my argument's sake and using common sense, I will assume that resident doesn't include cows, ducks, sheep, dogs, or according to my 8 y/o son, robots. So, if I have this right, Government is made up entirely by, drum roll please, PEOPLE!

I'm now going to use a word that many parents hate. STUPID. According to the dictionary, the word stupid means, “lacking common sense.” In all fairness, this is probably one of the most appropriate arguments in which to use this word.

According to this legislator, people are stupid. They don't make good choices and can't be trusted. Keep reading, this gets a little bumpy. Trust me, I do have a point. Every time I use the word people, I will preface it with stupid.

Stupid people run for office.
Stupid people vote stupid people into office.
Stupid people are now legislators making decisions for the rest of the stupid people.
The Stupid people who are legislators think that everyone else is stupid and needs to be taken care of.
Stupid people make laws that IMO are lacking in common sense (criminalizing midwifery).
New stupid people are elected into office by other stupid people.
These new stupid people refuse to vote for legislation that IMO makes sense (HB 303).
So now we have law enforcement (once again – stupid people) and judges and juries (what do you know more stupid people) involved.

Within this scenario, we are all in heaps and heaps of trouble.

I would much rather believe that the public (people with intelligence and common sense) elect individuals with intelligence and common sense into office. These legislators work diligently and use evidence and common sense to help shape our society. In this scenario, I don't see how any legislator using evidence and common sense would vote against legalizing and regulating midwifery in Missouri. It really blows my mind that any legislator would vehemently stand in the way of this bill even getting to a vote. So my question is, do the legislators standing in the way of the midwifery bill think that the citizens of MO are stupid people?

Once again, I have no confirmation as to who said this to begin with, or from what party it may have come from. However, it does make me wonder.

-deanna

2007-04-12T22:33:00.000-05:00

Kids, the capital, and midwifery

If you have never taken your kids to the Missouri State Capital, I highly recommend it. I've had my kids up there in all kinds of weather, on busy days, and on slow days. For those of you who have been around in the daytime, I recommend you stay late on a day that the legislators continue their session into the late evening. The attitude in the building dramatically shifts. The seemingly uptight legislators and lobbyists relax a little and don't seem to put on quite the "show of the politician." Antsy children are smiled at and engaged, and if you're lucky you may see my kids playing with a beach ball or Frisbee in the halls. This is the government that I love. "Of the people, by the people." Let's not forget "FOR THE PEOPLE."

Now for the crux of the matter, how in the world is opposing SB 303 here in MO, "FOR THE PEOPLE?" Last I checked, this bill gives the option of a trained, skilled, and practiced midwife to families in MO.

I have had babies, several in fact, six to be exact. The best, and by far the easiest was with a midwife, on my living room floor, under the Christmas tree. Why is it that I can go to more states in the United States and not worry that my midwife may be prosecuted for committing a felony, but in MO, I have to sneak around and "covertly" have a homebirth out of fear for my midwife? Since when does my family, my midwife, and most importantly my unborn child not fall into the category of people, as in "for the people."

Give us a chance, sit down, and let it get to a vote.
-deanna

2006-06-09T14:47:00.000-05:00

Exercise

Odin (my husband) bought me a used treadmill, a pilates book, and a really, really, really nice exercise mat for mother's day.

So far, so good. I have been on the treadmill daily since it's arrival (except when traveling) and have set an additional goal to do two sessions a day 3-4 days a week. I know the manufacturer's instructions say to not hold children while using it, but for me I have found that holding children is the only way to have 20-30 minutes on it.

I am excited to share that Cordelia (2 years old) loves to be in the backpack or the sling while I walk. She tends to fall asleep while I walk either at naptime or bedtime. This makes putting her to bed sooooo much easier. Valen (4 1/2) months also seems very happy and content in the sling while I walk. I have now mastered Cordelia in the backpack and nursing Valen in the sling while I walk and read. It truly is a pick me up in my day!

I am also trying to get the hang of some of the pilates exercises. Some of them are really difficult, but I am gettign better the more I practice. The children will try and do them with me, or make jokes about me looking silly, so we try keep a good sense of humor around here. I am hoping to get better at nursing while doing these exercises as well.

2006-06-09T14:39:00.000-05:00

Setting Goals and Tracking Results

I am a goal oriented person. I also want some way to monitor my progress. But this is not necessarily about weight loss. (ok - it is about weight loss, but not entirely!) So what do I use as goals and benchmarks?

This will definitely be a work in progress and my goals and benchmarks will change as I learn more. For now my goals are simple. Whatever I do, I have to be able to do it with my children, or with my children present. I will do some form of exercise each day and will adapt my eating habits little by little. For starters, I will try drinking my tea and coffee black instead of using cream and sugar. - Maybe that will entice me to drink more water as well.

2006-06-09T14:24:00.000-05:00

In the beginning...

I must admit that I want it all. I want happy children, a happy husband, a clean house, and let's face it, I want to be fit, strong, healthy, and look good when I leave the house.

I am a 30 year old woman. Not too young, and definitely not old. I have been married for 10 years and have given birth to six beautiful children, one of which passed away. I look back at pictures of myself when I got married and can see the physical changes in myself. I was never skinny, but I was strong and healthy. So what happened. After my first three children, losing the weight wasn't a problem. After Amelia (#4) was born and then after she died, I never lost all the weight and really never got it all together. Then comes #5 and I'm still somewhat heavy and #6 was a difficult pregnancy and he is now 4 1/2 months old and I still have trouble sitting up from a laying down position.

So, how do I fix this? What is the "right" answer? There is way too much information out there on weight loss and fitness, yet none of it seems to work for me at this point in my life. I don't want to leave my children to go to a class or the gym, the baby is too little. If I start a video at home, one of the kids needs something and I never get to finish. I need and want to put their needs first. In the process, I need to find a method that will allow me to continue practicing attachment parenting while allowing me to make some progress. Being strong and fit are great, but let's face it, my vanity is showing and I don't want to be this big forever.

I have talked with friends as well as a personal trainer, and realize that I am probably not alone. So, I am going to do something about it, and I am going to document it. I am excited about the possibilities and look forward to the weeks and months ahead!